A Speech on AS (part 4 of 4)

“WHAT IS IT LIKE LIVING WITH AN AS INDIVIDUAL?

It’s a roller coaster ride of emotional highs and lows but life is never boring.”

One thing that kind of caught me as weird is how I found out I have AS. I thought I must have something like a social phobia or a social anxiety disorder, and reading the information about that stuff just didn’t fit. It didn’t explain enough and I didn’t fit that criteria exactly, some of it fit, some of it didn’t. The word Autism though, popped into my head while I was doing the research. I’ve always thought that I might be slightly Autistic, Autistics, even on tv and movies, have always fascinated me. That look in their eyes, the way they played, it all struck me as “familiar”. When the word Autism popped into my head I typed it into google and that didn’t fit either really, not exactly, but then I found it, the words that have stuck for the past year “Asperger’s Syndrome”. This fit, this fit like a glove. It was an awesome feeling to finally find something that not only explained my social anxiety, but the stress I felt from not knowing what to do in social situations. It explained why I couldn’t wear denim, why my ears were so sensitive. After years of being frustrated by my differences I finally had an answer. I finally realized I didn’t have to act and be like everyone else.

One of the things I will always preach is tolerance. We are all different and far too often people expect everyone to just be normal. There aren’t just one, or two, or even three different types of people. We can never expect EVERYONE to be like we are. Yet far too often, people who are neurologically different are shoved out. For years I thought I was just stupid, I thought I had a low IQ and that I’d never amount to anything. It is only in the past year that I have been able to start looking at myself in a positive light. Realizing that what I have is a blessing in disguise. It is my hope that through education, someday, all neurologically unique people can be embraced fully and allowed to grow up loved and with the knowledge that they too, are intelligent, unique, and wonderful people. It is still hard after years of mental, and even physical abuse, for me to be able to believe that I really am intelligent, possibly more intelligent than a lot of people. But I’m working on it, I would never wish this pain on anyone.

I’ve probably said this a million times but my goal in someday becoming a Psychologist is to work with Autism in adults, the full spectrum, the preach not only tolerance, but acceptance, to educate those people like those that hurt me and to educate those like myself, those that need to know that they are not ignorant, or worthless, that they too are valuable.

In a way I apologize for this four part entry. I considered making this private as it was mostly review for anyone who’s been reading my OD for any length of time. I was just so taken with this speech that I had to write on it. So I apologize if I bored anyone to tears. 🙂