A Friend, a Dream, a Porch and Puppy Spay. :)

*sigh*

How do you tell a friend that they’re really screwing up?

That old friend of mine that has contacted me is making me really glad I turned out the way I did. She’s hanging out with people she should be hanging out with, having sex, and on and on. I know I can’t dictate the life of a friend, especially one that I haven’t talked to in like 4 years. But really, sometimes you just want to grab someone and say listen up. If you’ll quit going out with drunk friends you won’t have to worry about getting arrested. If you’ll go on birth control pills you won’t have to worry about what if the condom breaks. I had no idea that she was like this. I expected, that since she’d entered the military that she was doing good and on the right track to get herself a good career someday. I like to help her straighten her life out but she has to want to straighten her life out. She seems to want to but keeps going back to the same ole routine. *sigh* In high school she seemed to have her shit together. She made better grades than I did and I’m really shocked. I’d like to see her turn out to be the great person I know she could be.

Anyway, my job sucks today. First off, I’m sick. It’s finally caught up to me. I’m not sick enough that I need to be in bed but I’m sick enough to not need stress and I’m job is stressing me today. What I need, more than anything, is a good work from home job. If I had a decent paying work from home job I could probably get my ass to college, but as it stands right now I’m too worn down to try to stuff college into my life. I’d go insane.

I had a dream last night. I’ve no idea what it means but it scared the hell out of me it felt so real. First, I went into an office building in the middle of the day and literally just started shooting people for no reason other than the fact that they were office people. Second I went into Wal-Mart. The Wal-Mart had a section for books people kept there to write in, like journals. I started grabbing the journals off the shelves and boxing them up. Any person that tried to stop me got a gun pointed at them. I took the boxes of journals home and started going through them on the front lawn when hubby came over. He had been planting tree’s, that’s when I told him what I’d done. The part of the dream that got to me the most was when I realized I’d be going to jail for what I’d done. I looked up into his face and realized I’d never see him again. I have these kinds of dreams a lot, for various reasons I’ll never see my hubby again and every one of them kills me. I woke up right after that dream, the darkness that surrounded me was comforting, hearing my hubby breathing next to me, feeling my warm cat, Kenny sleeping on my leg. I whispered to myself “It wasn’t real” then “and you’d never do anything like that”.

My hubby read to me before bed last night. I love my hubby and I love having him read to me. When I lived in Oklahoma and he lived in Connecticut he used to read me to sleep over the phone. Sometimes I’d fall asleep and he’d have to wake me to say goodnight.

We finished the porch screening project, sort of. The door doesn’t close properly yet but hubby is going to get advice and possibly a sander from his dad tonight. That should fix that. The other thing we have to do is clean it up. There’s sawdust and stuff from the project, dirt and dead bugs and stuff. I want the screened in porch area to look nice. I’d like to get a couple wooden chairs or something and a little table. Some kind of lights, preferably some that look like lanterns. And an outdoor rug so we can go out barefoot. Our porch is rock so I wouldn’t want to cover all of it but I don’t like the way rock feels against my feet or on my hands. I think this’ll become a nice area to sit out, maybe have dinner and/or read and stuff.

Here’s some pictures. Keep in mind that it kind of looks like crap right now. But what you’re looking at now is very different from what you’ll see if a couple months. This is fresh lumber, white birch. Over the next couple of month the rain and sun will work it’s magic on the wood and it’ll turn grey and take on a nice aged look like some of the beams in the picture.

Here’s a couple quick pictures I took of Sara this morning before her trip to the vet. She’s getting spayed today.

Ready to go:

K, off to lunch and I didn’t proof so um, excuse any effed up typo’s please. 🙂