5/28/03

“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” -Mark Twain

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I have pink eye. If you’ve never had pink eye it’s not something you want. I get it once or twice a year now. I first got it after a bout of brochitis a few years ago and now I get it at least once a year. I have some fun ointment I get to stick in my eye and it makes my vision all blurry so please excuse any typo’s today. 🙂

I’ve also been having these horrible dizzy spells. It has to do with my tinnitus. I figured this out because last night I had one and as it happened my ear started popping and crackling. It was awful, I’d turned around to tell hubby something and everything got all weird and started going black. I put my head down and recovered pretty quickly. I’m going to have to go to the doctor. I kept hoping the tinnitus would just go away on it’s own. I read that generally it’s not dangerous and sometimes will just go away on it’s own so I tried to wait it out after the initial antibiotic treatment failed. Since I’m starting to get dizzy though I’ll probably break down and call my doctor. I hate going to the doctor. I have this anxiety about the doctor. I’m fine with going, it’s not like I’m afraid of the doctor or anything, my body just doesn’t follow my brain. My brain knows it’s okay, it’s JUST the doctor but my blood pressure goes way up and I get all shaky. I feel like such a fucktard because the nurses always ask me if I’m nervous after they take my blood pressure. I usually just shrug and say “not really” but ugh! From the message boards I’ve been on it seems a lot of people with AS have this problem.

A lot of people with AS seem to have this other problem that I have that made itself known AGAIN this morning.

Hubby and I were on the elevator and this guy got on. I didn’t recognize him at all. When he got off the elevator he said bye to my hubby. I made a statement like “Everyone knows you” to my hubby and he told me the guys name. The guy was someone that I’d seen a million times and should have known. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I get in the elevator sometimes and someone will start asking me about my hubby, about the house, various things. Oftentimes it’s someone who I’ve obviously talked to in the past but I wouldn’t know it. I don’t know if I have a face recognition problem or if my memory is just selective. I can usually remember faces that I WANT to remember. If it’s someone I just talk to a few times at work and don’t really ever want to be friends with I’ll forget their face the second I walk away from them. But if it’s someone I want to be friends with, or someone I want to meet from say, the internet, I can remember their face after seeing it once. For instance, I met someone from another diary site and became friends with her after awhile, we talked about meeting in person a little. I saw a picture of her and her face stuck in my memory, I couldn’t forget it. In another scenario a woman that obviously knew me pretty well stopped by my cubicle the other day to ask me a question and started asking if we’d gotten any more pets and stuff. Obviously she knew about my pets, I’d obviously told her before but I couldn’t remember who she was at all. Luckily she didn’t do what a lot of people do and just say “Could you e-mail me with the information please?” and walk away without leaving their name. That often leaves me feeling stupid because I don’t remember who they are and obviously should have and then I have no idea who in the hell I’m supposed to e-mail. *sigh* So frustrating.

Hubby just said he got an e-mail response from several of our equity loan people from lending tree and that one of them sounds like a good possibility. Woo to the hoo. Hopefully this will go well. Ya’ll don’t know how bad I want to get our debts cleared. Well, maybe you do, I ramble on about it enough. There’s this ONE asshole bill collector that keeps doing the most annoying thing. He’s the collection agency for the bank that repossessed hubbys truck. We set up a payment of 148.00 a month with him and the guy expects the payment in his office by the 20th of every month. Well, we can’t exactly get the payment in by the fucking 20th of every month. I can usually have it mailed sometime during the last two weeks of the month, usually AROUND the 20th. In the case of this months payment I mailed it on the 24th. Well, this pisses asshole guy off and he starts calling INCESSENTLY, not only does he call incessently but he starts calling people other than my husband at work to try to get to my husband. This month he left my husbands BOSS a fucking message. Asshole guy needs a smackdown. We’re hoping to get asshole guy his money IN FULL very soon so he never has to worry about us again. I hate bill collectors. I don’t know how anyone can perform a job like that. I’d get fired because people would give me this story on the phone about how they’re so sorry they can’t make their payments but their husband just got laid off and their child is sick and their car keeps breaking down. I’d probably start crying on the phone with them and I’d be all like “It’ll be okay dear, how about you just forget I called alright?” lol I just wouldn’t be a good bill collector. But I imagine anyone who’s been on this side of this fence, who’s had bill collectors jumping down their throats when they’re just trying to make ends meet, wouldn’t make a good bill collector. I know a guy who tried to work in Fingerhuts collection department. He came home miserable most of the time, he felt awful for hounding people about money when he knew they didn’t WANT to owe, that they wanted to be able to pay it back. He didn’t last very long there, it made him feel too horrible. Most people don’t just quit paying bills because they want to cheat a company out of money. Most people quit paying because something happened that’s beyond their control and it really is depressing to have people jumping down their throats when all they’re trying to do is keep their car running so they can get to work every morning and make the money they need to pay their bills. Debt sucks and I know there’s a lot of people out there worse off than we are, I wish them all luck and future riches.

Well, I should prolly go for now. I’ve been here at work for an hour and haven’t done a damn thing but write in my OD. I’ve got piles of telephone directory changes to work on. I forgot that yesterday was Tuesday and thought I had extra time like I usually do to finish them so I haven’t started on them yet. I should go work on them. 🙂