4/21/03

So, we had an interesting weekend. I wasn’t really feeling like going to Easter so hubby called his mom to ask if anyone would be offended if we didn’t show up. Of course she then laid in the guilt trip about how we never go to anything and and when we do we don’t stay long enough and stuff. When he finally got off the phone and relayed it all to me I decided I couldn’t take it anymore, made him call his mom back and we told her about me having AS.

I was so sick of everyone thinking I’m just an unfriendly, uncaring bitch.

We ended up going to Easter. It was actually going to be a pretty small gathering so we decided to go ahead and go. We had a good time too, when we got there everyone was dissapointed that we hadn’t brought Sara so we went home and got her. We also made kind of a connection for the first time with one of hubby’s uncle’s. He’s a pagan and from our bumper stickers he figured out that we’re something of a pagan as well. Hubby told him we were athiests so now someone in the family knows that as well.

After dinner hubbys mom came over to our house where we shared a lot of information about AS with her. Gave her some printouts and loaned her my copy of Lianne Wiley’s “Pretending to be Normal”. The whole time we talked lightbulbs kept going off at different situations that were rough for me and where I kind of alienated the family. Changing the locks on our house the day we moved in because everyone had a key for instance. At the end of the night said that Christmas must have been a nightmare for me and that’s when I really knew it had clicked with her. That was good.

It felt good to get all that out and I knew I needed to. I knew I could never really be part of the family until people could understand who I am and my limits. It’s just hard to know how to bring something like that up. I mean you can’t just walk up to someone and say “Hi, I have AS”, I mean, you could, but I wouldn’t want to.

Sharing was a scary experience for me. It was easy enough to e-mail my own parents. It’s easy enough for me to sit here and type about my life with AS, but to actually tell someone I haven’t known my whole life is extremely awkward. I had a sick feeling in my stomach and sitting there at the table when the conversation started rolling was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Luckily the windows were open and it was cold in the room so the fact that I was shivering wasn’t too surprising. I shiver when I get really nervous. Happens to me at the dentists office and stuff. They usually end up coving me with paper although it doesn’t help.

I’ve decided that’s where it should stay, I’ve told everyone I’m going to tell. My boss doesn’t need to know about AS and neither does most of the family. Hubbys mom will probably tell her dad because he seems to have issues with my ‘unfriendliness’ and she might tell hubbys sister too but we’ll see. I’ve told everyone I need to tell, anyone else who talks smack about me will find out from her, she’s the information hub of the family. 🙂

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Puppies for sale

A storeowner was tacking a sign above his door that read “Puppies for sale” 

These signs have a way of attracting children. Soon a little boy appeared at the sign and asked ,”How much are you gonna sell those puppies for?” The store owner replied: “Anywhere from $30 – $50.00.” 

The little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out some change.” I have $2.37, can I look at them?” 

The store owner smiled and whistled. Out of the kennel came his dog Lady, running down the aisle of his store followed by five little puppies. One puppy was lagging considerably behind. 

Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy. He asked “What’s wrong with that little dog?” The man explained that when the puppy was born the Vet said that this puppy had a bad hip socket and would limp for the rest of his life. 

The little boy got really excited and said, “That’s the puppy I want to buy!” The man replied, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I’ll give him to you” 

The little boy got upset. He looked straight into the man’s eyes and said “I don’t want you to give him to me. He is worth every bit as much as the other puppies and I’ll pay full price. In fact I will give you $2.37 now and 50 cents every month until I have paid for him.” 

The man  countered, “You really don’t want to buy this puppy, son. He is never gonna be able to run, jump and play like other puppies.” 

The little boy reached downand rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the man and said, “Well, I don’t run so well myself and the puppy will need someone who understands.” 

The man was now biting his bottom lip. Tears welled up in his eyes. He smiled and said, “Son, I hope and pray that each and every one of these puppies will have an owner such as you.”