Pleasantries and Greetings

Here’s something that makes me crazy on a daily basis. I just went to the bathroom and on the way there someone did the whole “Hi, how are you” thing at me. Then gave me a really funny look when I didn’t respond.

I don’t respond to things like that unless the person is actually stopping to talk to me. I find greeting in passing difficult, as do a lot of people with AS. I don’t like to waste my breath on mindless chatter and “Hi, how are you” in passing is mindless chatter. How many people actually respond with how they’re actually feeling?? When I first started working here I assumed people really wanted to know how I was feeling so I once said “Not well” and the person looked at me really funny. I realized I’d screwed up when I listened to everyone else respond to that question with a “Fine, you”.

Most people probably won’t understand my frustration with this but I know a lot of other AS people that do. I’m a member of bulletin board on Yahoo for people on the Autistic Spectrum and every last one of them is uncomfortable with reciprocating greetings. I just really wish people wouldn’t force it on me. I can do Hi’s just fine but the long Hi, how are you is just silly. By the time I get to “Fine, how are you?” we’ve got half the hallway in between us and you probably won’t even hear me! Plus I’ll never find out if you’re fine as well, although I’m sure you probably will be.

I just hope people don’t think I’m a crappy person for not reciprocating their greetings. It’s not that I don’t like people, I’m just not comfortable with that kind of stuff. People usually label me as a snob. In school people were always saying stuff like that at me, calling me a snob and stuff. I didn’t have many friends in school, I think those that did befriend me did it out of pity and I don’t have any friends at work. I wish I could find a way to get people to give me a chance instead of just judging me on my social awkwardness, the social awkwardness goes away once I get to know someone. I’m normal around my family and my husband, just not around people I don’t know. 🙁 I’m tired of being the only person without friends, when my husband isn’t at work or has a lunch meeting I have to sit all alone in the cafeteria just like in school. It makes me really sad but I just don’t know how to “Make friends” all the friends I’ve ever had reached out and made friends with me.