12/26/02

What happened to my discipline? I used to have the discipline to just sit quietly and do. I’ve been corrupted. 🙂 I never had freedom in high school or at any of my other jobs to do anything but work. In high school for instance all the computers faced the teachers desk so there was no way you could really get away with anything. At my old job I worked a meter machine metering mail. My boss was always standing over us when she wasn’t answering the phone. I attribute a lot of my discipline not only to my parents who had the never settle for less than perfect attitude but also to being in marching band. We got up rain or shine and were out on the field, without instruments if it was raining. We were practicing drills, getting yelled at. Standing at attention until we dropped, doing pushups, running laps. But then I’d go to class and the teachers wouldn’t let you do anything but classwork in class. After school I went to my job where my boss was standing over us “Shut and and work faster you guys, this shit has to be on the truck by 6, c’mon.” Then I get out into the real world…there’s no one standing over me forcing me to work. There’s no one keeping me from typing in my journal. As long as I get my shit done it doesn’t matter how much time I spent flipping through different websites. Work has totally ruined me. 🙂 I’m lazy enough as it is and now I can’t even bring myself to enter my time…there’s funner things to do.

I went to Christmas at hubbys moms, I almost didn’t. I had as good as backed out of it when I decided “Ah, to hell with it, I’ll go.” So I went and it wasn’t too bad. The one guy that normally bothers me was actually decent last night. Everyone else was okay too. I survived all the hugging and said merry christmas about 500 times, or so if felt. They don’t do much gift trading which is nice, but hubbys mom did get us a magnetic poetry calendar. That thing just rocks, I was playing with it this morning, not actually making poems, but rude phrases instead. I somehow managed to drop and lose the word “too” though and it was the only one! Grr. It’s gotta be around somewhere, how far could it have gone anyway, it’s probably just hidden in the rug somewhere. Anyhow, the only thing that made me nuts last night is they have these bell things that play christmas carols and those hurt my ears, that plus the dogs and kids running around nearly put me into overload. It was also very cruel when they had the karaoke machine out and handed the microphone to a small child. Childrens voices are bad enough on my ears without being amplified!!!

I’m soooo excited about getting a dog. We just have to wait on our christmas checks to clear and we can put down our deposit to hold a puppy. In a way I feel guilty because it really is a lot of money for a dog. Money isn’t something we have a lot of but more than half of what we’re spending is Christmas money. That’s kind of how I’ve justified it. We just got a few refunds too on our insurance and stuff so all that is paying off some other stuff. This is the only thing we can buy big for a long time though so if I mention buying something in the future somebody yell at me!!!

My little Betta Sam is sick. I mentioned awhile back that I lost Ra to an illness, well apparently it was contagious and I think it was dropsy. Dropsy is one of the most fatal fish diseases out there so if I can pull Sammy through this it’ll be nothing less than a small miracle. I got started faster with him than Ra because it was easier to tell something was wrong with him. I’m being very very careful not to spread this illness to any of my other fish. I thought Ra was just constipated before so I wasn’t cautious and I change Sam and Ra’s water on the same day. So it’s probably my fault this happened to Sam and I feel awful. Anyhow, wish me luck in curing him.