White House Rejects Death Star Petition…

You didn’t read that incorrectly, there was a real petition asking the Whtie House to fund and start construction on a Death Star by 2016. I guess conservatives can site this an example of another liberal being weak on defense.

Just remember what the NRA said a few weeks ago: the only thing that stops a bad guy with a Death Star is a good guy with a Death Star. Which is not true because a good guy with an X-wing and the force on his side was enough to beat a bad guy with a Death Star.

I don’t know what’s more interesting, that this petition actually exists or that it got enough signatures that the White House had to actually respond to it. Regardless, I think you’re going to find White House’s response to this petition very amusing and quite epic. The response is now posted on the petition site and is titled “This isn’t the petition response you’re looking for”.

But don’t worry Sci-fi geeks, there is another petition that is nearing 20,000 signatures. This petition is asking the government to look into the idea of constructing of a federation starship. Not as fun as a Death Star, I admit… but I think the USS Enterprise would be a little more affordable.

Peter

Death Star Petition Gets White House Rebuff

Sorry, folks. The Obama administration will not be building a Death Star.

The White House responded Friday night to a petition on its website urging construction of a Death Star for job creation and national defense purposes by 2016.

Here’s why, according to Paul Shawcross, chief of the Science and Space Branch of the Office of Management and Budget, who wrote an epic response to the petition and its nearly 35,000 signatories:

The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Shawcross did take the opportunity to explain what is being done already, instead of the government spending the the estimated $852 quadrillion (in case you were wondering what the above number was) to build the ultimate planet-destroying machine.

There’s the International Space Station (which doesn’t destroy planets). There’s the two rovers on Mars (“one wielding a laser”). Who knew — the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency is even “supporting research” on building Luke Skywalker’s arm.

Shawcross closed by plugging a big initiative of the Obama administration: science, technology, engineering and math education:

“If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.”

Sorry, “Star Wars” fans, it seems the gravitational pull of Washington’s budget battles was too much to make a $852 quadrillion investment.

Source