Why I delete notes and block users…

Someone posted a very interesting entry, and even took the time to give me the heads up about it just to make sure I am not offended by it. Even if he hadn’t… it wouldn’t have made a difference. He’s entitled to post whatever he chooses in his forum but I respect the effort that was made to spare my feelings, evidence that there are still some good writers here on OD and even the Politics Circle.

While I took no offence from the comments made, I would like to take a moment to comment on them and maybe present the other side of the coin. Here is what the person said in their entry:

There are a couple of left-of-center writers from Canada and one right-of-center one from America who delete notes and ban people and I’ve never understood that. I know it’s their diary and they can do what they want; but it didn’t make sense to me. I actually don’t judge Peter for it since his entries aren’t posted in the politics section. If you post in the politics section you should assume you’re going to get a response. As long as the response isn’t ridiculously, cartoonishly personal I don’t see the point in deleting a note or banning someone. That’s one of my pet peeves: if you post to the politics section, don’t delete notes or ban people.

As one of the ‘left-of-center’ writers from Canada that he was referring too, I really took no offence to any of his comments. What the writer posted here is exactly true. I have deleted comments and blocked a good handful of people from having access to my diary. This writer believes that if you post the circles, you should be prepared to take any comments that fly your way, no matter what. He’s free to express that opinion, but its one that I strongly disagree with.

To use a cute metaphor, let’s compare this diary to a bar. When you walk into a bar you are free to drink, mingle and goof around. Just because you are welcome to come into this bar and hang out doesn’t give you free licence to do whatever you want. If you get into a drunken rage, or start making comments that are insulting and could provoke violence I am quite confident a bouncer is going to show you to the door. If you really get out of control and smash the place up, you will likely be banned from the establishment and never allowed to come back. There is even a chance you might be arrested and tossed in jail too.

The above metaphor is exactly how I run things here on my diary. No matter where I post my entries, circles or not, there are rules. If you break these rules, I will take swift action. You might be kicked out of the bar (notes deleted) or banned from it entirely (blocked) if your behaviour dictates it. If you are really out of line, I might get the police involved (DM) and despite his reputation, immature and deviant actions are dealt with swiftly and some people have been banned from OD for their actions as well.

Over the last 12 years on this webpage, there have been a lot of people who stood up to me and gave it to me as good as I dished it out. The only ones who have ever had their notes deleted and been blocked were the ones who went too far. Many of them were warned, as I would sometimes delete the note and then state if they did that again that would be it, they’d be blocked. There have been many times when those who are blocked have apologized and promised to do better, those blocked were forgiven and they’ve had access to my forum ever since.

I state it clearly on the front page of my diary: you are not required to agree with me but do it politely. Anyone who posts a note that is deemed offensive and disrespectful will be immediately deleted and blocked from my diary. This is my bar and those are my rules. If you can’t abide by them then you will not be allowed to participate in the discussion. It’s that simple. Many people, most actually, have had no problem abiding by my rules, and for that I have welcomed and appreciated their contributions regardless if they agree with me or not.

Yet those who remain on my blocked list are those who have no regard for rules and thing they are free to do whatever they want. These people are ignorant and incapable of being respectful. One of them comes onto my diary just to leave spiteful notes and provoke anger. That kind of behaviour is not tolerated and I will not allow material like that to remain here … so I delete it.

Anything that is of a personal nature will be dealt with as well. If someone ignores what the entry is about and decides to take an issue with me just for discussing it will get a warning or an outright block right from the start depending on how civil or rude their content is. If you think the truth is on your side, argue the issue, make points and debate it rather than attack the person. If you incapable of doing that, you’re not going to stay here very long. Personal attacks are not permitted, especially if they are directed at other readers too.

I do my best to keep an open mind. If you are civil and polite, I will listen to what you have to say. If you are rude, call me names and virtually spit on me, then your notes will be immediately deleted and you’ll be given a one way trip to my blocked list. People have never been deleted for expressing an opinion, but it’s how that opinion that expressed that could land them in hot water.

There is only one other reason why I will delete notes and that is spamming. I’m not referring to the kind of spam where it’s someone trying to promote a business, I’m referring to someone leaving 10-20 notes and hogging the discussion. If you really have that much to say about the issue, then write an entry in your own forum and then leave a single note with a URL to your entry. I even follow this rule myself. If I feel that I need 3-5 notes to respond to someone, rather than take up too much space on their or even my own forum, I will write a full entry about it to prevent the notes from getting out of control.

If you want to discuss politics or any other subject with me, I welcome it. I am a very big supporter of freedom of expression but I do not support nor condone harassment and rude behaviour. When you are leaving a note on someone else’s diary, you are a guest. Your right to leave a note is not a right; it’s a privilege that I will not hesitate to take away if you do not follow the rules of my forum.

This is why I delete notes and block users from my diary. These rules are for anyone who comes here to read this diary, not just those who respond to anything I post on the circles. You are not required to agree with me… if I want to hear an echo of my own views, I have places where I can go to get that. One of the best things I loved about the politics circles was the debates. Hearing everyone agree with you is boring and no fun at all. So why would I block everyone who disagrees with me if that sucks the fun out of whole point of posting entries like that to begin with? That makes no sense at all, which is why any accusation that I block people just for disagreeing with me is without a doubt completely untrue.

I’ll give you some examples of why some people were blocked from my diary without leaving any names:

1) One person left the same note over and over again, accusing me of hating America for merely disagreeing with the conduct of his/her government. No notes where left to argue against what I had to say, just kept saying the same thing over and over and over again. I have no time for that kind of childish antics, and that person was blocked and removed from the forum several times.

2) There was another user who didn’t hesitate to call people names and post entries in public circles flaming people even though that is expressly forbidden in the rules. I was hesitant to block this person, but sometimes the comments just went above offensive and rude. It’s a shame really because whenever the entries were not about politics or religion; his notes were very civil and appreciated.

3) One reader left a note stating that I should be stuffed into a barrel and shot at with a rifle while being rolled down a hill.

4) One person had the nerve to call me a closet pedophile because I was too passionate about an entry I posted stating my disgust for people who harm children. Would you tolerate that kind of ignorance? That comment was made to provoke anger and pick a fight. If anyone reads my diary, they would know such a comment is untrue and as a father of two amazing kids it was a comment that hurt my feelings a great deal. This came from a person who assumed was my friend, and since that statement I have not interacted with this person since. He was even on my facebook friends list the day he made that comment… and was promptly removed from that as well just minutes after his diary was added to my block list.

These are just a few examples of why I have seventeen people blocked from having access to my diary. I have no doubt that if these people did the same notes in other diaries, similar actions might have been taken, and even complaints made to the DM for rule violations. Even though these people have been abusive and rude to me on OD, I have stated that if anyone on my blocked list (even the four above) took the time to post an apology in their diary and show true regret for what they did to get on my block list, I would forgive them and give them another chance and remove them from the list.

It doesn’t have to be an essay; even a few lines would do if it was sincere and genuine. Some have done so, and I’ve removed them from my block list. Others have refused and they will remain blocked until they do so. Until they learn from their mistakes, I have no reason to give them access to my forum, especially if they were just going to repeat the same mistake that got them blocked in the first place.

Open Diary has its own rules to and just like mine everyone is expected to abide by them. If we don’t follow the DM’s rules, we’ll have to face the consequences. It’s that simple. If you are nice and civil when leaving notes on my diary, you will not be deleted or blocked. I can’t speak for anyone else but when it comes to my forum… that’s how I roll. If you don’t like it, then go back to your own diary and write whatever you want there.

Peter

Log in to write a note
March 7, 2012

Hi. I am random, and I just want to say MAYBE you take things so seriously? I mean, whoever wrote “stuffed into a barrel and shot at with a rifle while being rolled down a hill” has a future in black comedy. That is brilliance. I mean, laugh, friend. Life is short. Harbor love.

March 7, 2012

Exactly. Be well.

March 7, 2012

eliese: He meant every word of it. The DM later deleted his diary for not only making threats but posting a lot of racist comments as well.

I definitely don’t believe you are taking things too seriously. Even when these kinds of comments are random from people you don’t know, it’s disturbing. I am a favorites-only diarist, and will always remain this way. I just want to write, I don’t want to put up with this kind of crap. I support your blocking/deleting, etc.

YAH
March 7, 2012

This is a diary and not a discussion forum. So if anyone annoys you, you have every right to block their ass.

March 7, 2012

Your diary, your rights. You can/should do what you like and nobody deserves for you to justify that. I don’t delete notes, but one area where I sometimes court controversy is that, if that I receive insulting/degrading/offensive/idiotic notes that are private, I have been known to make them public.

March 7, 2012

I only delete notes if they’re basically spam, but I completely agree with you on the blocking.

March 7, 2012
March 7, 2012

There’s another good reason to consider blocking an abusive noter. Does anyone remember the cyberstalking case here ten or more years ago? This was before OD had the options of friends-only notes and entries and the ability to block users. Against the odds, a person who lived in the same town as the diarist recognized her from her diary and started harassing the hell out of her online and stalkingher IRL. They did get busted, but the point is that none of us here are quite as anonymous as we might think. Better to nip a potential stalking in the bud by blocking problem noters. Hmm. That sounded weirdly poetic, but I’ll leave it be.

March 7, 2012

“3) One reader left a note stating that I should be stuffed into a barrel and shot at with a rifle while being rolled down a hill.” if I ever find out I have a terminal disease, this is how I want to go. That or trying to jump Snake River Canyon.

You hate America! It’s so obvious. If you didn’t hate America, you would live here. DUH! Everyone knows that. *eye roll*

March 9, 2012

I agree with your point of view and have made it clear to the person who likes to leave notes merely to provoke is not welcome to do so. If they can be polite and leave a note pertaining to the entry they are more than welcome. I find it amusing that although no names are ever mentioned we probably know who you are referring to. lol.

March 12, 2012

It took me 10 years on here to decide that accepting any and all notes, signed or not, and positve or not – was no longer what I wanted. from the beginning I felt if I limited response in any way it would skew the legitimacy of the feedback that writing openly here gives me. I didn’t want to write here just to have a self dellusion of approval from yes-men. However, since the day I had it withthe bitter nay-sayers and blocked them , this place is much more of a pleasant haven to confess and air my thoughts and I have no regrets.