The Dance (Poem)
Someone I know is going through some tough times right now. Three weeks ago he lost his Dad. It was sudden and unexpected, and my buddy really took this hard. He was really close to his Dad. As if things couldn’t get worse, his Mom passed away Wednesday past. She was ill, and taken to hospital, but they thought she was going to be released and she suddenly got worse passed away. My friend Steve is crushed. I can only imagine the kind of pain he’s going through right now… and have tried to be as supportive as I could. I told him if there was anything I could do to help him out, all he had to do was ask.
A few days ago, he said there was something he wanted me to do for him: write a poem. He was a fan of the work I had shown him, and he asked me to write something for him so that he could read it and feel a little better. So with little notice, I tried my best to come up with something that would make my bud feel a little better. So here is the poem I came up with this morning, feel free to leave any comments or corrections if you like. Be gentle though, cause I haven’t written anything all year, and this was done on short notice. Negative notes will be deleted…
Peter
The Dance
They dance in the clouds, high up in the sky
swaying in the wind, swinging to a favorite tune
Dancing so gracefully, for reasons who knows why
under the watchful eye of a large, bright moon.
Great feats they accomplished, many hardships withstood
their greatest adventure was together, as man and wife
They truly did their best, loved as much as one could
raising a great family, taking every victory with each strife.
Even though they are gone, forever they shall survive
their spirit and love will reside forever in our heart
they made such a difference, made us feel so alive
and they’re together again, never to be torn apart.
PJL, 2005.
the poem is beautiful my condolences to your friend and his family
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the rhythm is nice, and comforting until it’s stumbled up with extra syllables or something. You really don’t want to do that without a purpose and I don’t think it has a purpose here. You would want the consistency I think. I like the choice of words and style though. It keeps it just a step away from being sing-songy.
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Prayer is what your friend needs. It’s hard when loved ones pass. Like you said I can only imagine. I don’t know what I’d do if my father passed. He’s my best friend. After reading this I began to think about it. It would kill me. I’d lose a great part of myself. Your friend is lucky to have you by his side. God Bless
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RYN: i read in entertianment weekly that “serenity” has to make at least $80 million world wide to warrant a sequel. i’m not sure if it will pull in that much, but i have my fingers crossed. and if worse comes to worse, maybe “firefly” could return to TV (albeit on another network) if the film is a success. NBC could benefit from a good sci-fo drama about now.
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ryn: Oh, they definitely have the right to sell the rights to their music, if you accept the dubious assumption that it is possible to “own” an abstract concept, which I will for the sake of argument. But these people are artists first and foremost. Their popularity can be partially attributed to the fans’ perception that they are making music that means something to them.
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That’s why a true fan will spend the $18 on a new album, rather than copying it or burning it illegally. They want to show their support for an artist that is creating something beautiful and not doing just whatever it will take to get on the radio. When you sell your best-selling song to Burger King, you’ve blown it, and can’t expect that kind of attitude.
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It means they’re telling their fans that they don’t give a crap about the song itself or the people for whom it means something.
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That’s really good; I liked it. I hope it brought your friend some comfort.
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