four and a half years later…

Hello Friends!

I have been intending to come in here before my subscription expires (in 8 days, now) because I feel guilty not saying good-bye. I still don’t have my life together, but as I muddle along, I find I don’t have the energy I would like to have just to come in here and write a quick entry. Because it never is. First I have to read to catch up on all of you guys whom I care about, and that can’t really be done without dropping a few notes just to let you know that I came by, and then my own stories always seem to need more explanation (in my own mind, at least). Plus I am so bored with my own life it is hard sometimes for me to see what about my day is actually worth saying. By this time I have stayed up way too late (again)– which is one of the places in my life that I would like to do better in.

So I am on the fence, and kind of sad to say good-bye, but not sure that I should hang on to this diary any longer, because that is just what I would be doing here, hanging on to this diary.

I have trouble letting things go… you should see my house!

Anyway, I love you guys (and you know who you are), and I will always treasure the friendship you shared with me.

Thanks for everything!
xxx,
13D

Kemma

February 16, 2005

I have enjoyed reading you. I wish you well.

Od for Dummies

i know how it is to not have your heart in it… hell, i haven’t written in weeks… i wish somehow this place could feel like it use to, but have come to realize that it’s because i don’t feel like i use to… or something like that… i’d never be one to beg… ahh, that’s not true, i’d beg you to stay on one hand, but then not want to put you out on the other… perhaps we could (c)

write only private entries that only each other could read? anyone i find interesting on here as my new lurker self, goes private and while i used to feel left out, i’ve come to realize that i actually don’t give a damn… who the hell cares, you know? it doesn’t feel like open diary anymore, but i did come to know some great people… like you… i’ll miss you if you go but understand… (c)

somehow i feel like i need to get caught up just one more time… like… how is your daughter doing away at school, or more importantly how are you doing with her being gone? how are the kidlets still home? how are the pups? are you and hub happy? Will we ever get this ‘all you’ve ever dreamed of handed to you and your still a mess thing’ figured out??? my best to you elizabeth, be well always