That’s right! I wasn’t there.

Right up until 3:00 on Saturday the 27th of July, I was undecided about going to the PNWBBQ. I wanted to be there and meet all of the wonderfu people whose words I had admired and shared for so long. Putting faces and real names to them would be wonderful. As it seems many of you were, I was nervous about going. As Marie Elena put it, I tend to be very shy in crowds of people I don’t know – even though I know more about some of you than I do many of my ‘real life’ friends.

In the end my shyness and hesitation won out and I attended the bbq from my office. I read the entries from the party as they were posted, as well as the individual diaries which encompassed the trips to Seattle, meeting up with other people, wondering what to wear and all of the other mental exercises going on during that wonderful period of time.

I admire those of you who went in spite of your nervousness and in retrospect wish I could have overcome mine. Though to be completely honest, I have a difficult enough time saying what I really think and feel while not really knowing any of you and feared that if I met you face-to-face it might render me incapable of returning here.

I loved the pictures and almost would have known all of you even without the names being given. The stories your words have told have moulded the landscape of your faces – I think I recognized you all (including Goldilocks, though I could be wrong). I have loved your entries concerning the day and all it held – the trip to and from and how it affected each of you. As the sun shone in my yard that day I was happy knowing it was shining down on all of you as well.

If there is another one – and I hope there will be, I will make a harder stab at overcoming my hesitation about revealing myself. It was definitely my loss.

It was my loss too. You’re one of my very favorite writers and I was really hoping to meet you. We don’t live that far away, though…. Ed and I would like to do it again next year. I hope you’ll come.

RYN: I would love that!!!!!!!!!!!

~X-Factor

August 2, 2002

I couldn’t help chuckling as I read your entry. I only ‘knew’ a few who were going to be there & your mention that you were looking forward to meeting me gave me the boost to make the effort. I only really decided that day myself. I was in Victoria with H so had to spill the beans about the gathering. I’m still mixed about meeting diarists even though I met some wonderful people Sat.

I hope you are enjoying this great summer weather. Mind you, it’s been moody here lately (as has my 17 yr old daughter, sigh).

Icarus Knew

I talked myself out of going too. But then again, I live in New England. Good to see you back here. Hugs.

gel

Our loss too. Next time.

Adagio

August 3, 2002

You were one of the people I was really hoping to meet… 🙁 But I also profoundly understand the reservations/fear and shyness. (I don’t know that I would have been able to go through with it if it were not for my sister and friend who accompanied me.)But next year? If I can, I will JUMP at the chance. It was that comfortable/accepting/loving/fun/and wonderful. You were missed! :)xoxoxox

Wow! Great to see you again 🙂 Hope the summer is great for you. I think it would be fun to go to the next one too. Hugs

August 4, 2002

i think i would be hesitant too..but it surely looked like fun

Good, good morning, patalija!! Sorry for the sense of loss in not being “there.” Happy for the extreme sense of beauty in being “here.” Namely, wherever you are. Your “Sunday Morning Drive to Port Hadlock” is breathtaking & anything but ‘digital’ on my screen. I can feel the spray & the sun, smell the water…thank you! As everybody must know, there’s more than one way to know people. No regrets!

forever in motion

August 8, 2002

Adagio’s note says exactly what I feel. I would have loved to meet you 🙁 But I think it’s good to trust instincts. Maybe this wasn’t the right time and the next one will be? Or a different gathering, in another area? Stay tuned, there’ll be more. xxoo,

Do go next time. Pachan came to stay with me over here. It was fantastic and we were so happy. Nervous before we met, but it was a risk worth taking. If people are honest when they write then no big ghastly surprises, we were honest and it worked out:) Hugs