all of a sudden

I’ve spent the last month freaking out about not having an actual job (selling chocolates for a pitiable 10 hours a week is, surprise surprise, not cutting it as far as both money and self-respect go). I’ve spent days opening craigslist tabs in my browser that seem like plausible job opportunities and then pointedly ignoring them.

I’ve also been doing a lot of thought about not just getting a job for now, but sorting out what the hell I want to “be” when I “grow up”.

3 weeks ago I actually submitted an application to a place that I thought looked pretty cool for a summer job. It’s here in Portland, hanging out with kids in the woods. And then I forgot about it. And decided that my real goal was to go to Alaska this summer. Because Alaska. I have connections there and sent out some feelers and acquired a phone number and called an old acquaintance and was offered a job before I could even ask for it. An awesome one that involves at-risk youth, canoes, glaciers, backpacking, salmon fishing, etc. All the good stuff. And also a maybe not as good one that I could start at next week. But for that one the only perk is Alaska and I’m not sure Alaska is as grand of a perk in January as it is in the summer.

So, I was excited about sorting out Alaska.

And then I got a call tonight, an hour before leaving for an incredible concert (Tommy Emmanuel, enthralling guitar player, he plays three guitars all at the same time but two of them are invisible…) asking if I had time for a quick phone interview with the place I applied to weeks ago that’s offering summer jobs in Portland. Now they want me in for an interview tomorrow morning at 9AM. It’s a 45 minute bike ride and I have to find some place to print my resume (why the hell don’t I have a printer? It’s really inconvenient.) at 8 in the morning that’s semi-along the way and do I even want to consider this job when, well, Alaska is calling?

It’s 12:23, we just got home from the show, I’m exhausted and need to throw together a resume and Plans for a smooth tomorrow so I shouldn’t be writing in here. Maybe I’m procrastinating.

But gosh, I have to say, it sure feels good to be wanted by prospective employers. For someone to have looked at my resume and said, “Holy shit, tons of experience and an obvious mastery of valuable skills,” rather than, “What the hell is wilderness therapy and who does this girl think she is trying to be a barista in a town like Portland with shit for skilzzz.”

Just sayin’.