bread, rice, lentils, vegetables

I’m in Motueka. I have such intense social anxiety right now. It’s so much easier to stay in my room and read or write than it is to go out and sit/stand awkwardly around while there are people forging bonds and cultivating relationships around me.

The woman who runs the hostel I’m staying at is really sweet and enthusiastic and is like, “Oh, you can do this and this and there’s always these people who are going there and if you just ask them I’m sure they’ll give you a ride…” and it’s kind of her and everything but I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than ask attractive foreigners if I can tag along on their beach adventures.

So, I’m doing the simple thing. Eating lots of fruit and vegetables. Being vegetarian is so much cheaper than eating meat. I don’t really miss meat that much, either. I have eaten a little since I’ve arrived in NZ, but it’s been pretty sporadic.

I’m glad to not be going to Fiji. The guys were very kind-hearted and I didn’t suspect anything fishy about them, but they didn’t know a damned thing about sailing and were having a hard time convincing any experienced skippers to venture forth into the South Pacific at the beginning of cyclone season. (!) Duh. So that sort of clinched the deal for me. Also the fact that things were rapidly becoming more awkward instead of less. Ugh, conspiracy theories! And just blatant stupidity. Such as when Steve said he couldn’t understand how people in the world couldn’t feed themselves, because he knew he could go into any wild environment and forage food for himself. I asked him if he thought he could manage to forage enough food for 3,000 people, and he said, “No, but if I can do it for myself, they can do it for themselves!” And at that point I didn’t even bring up the fact that I find it highly unlikely that people living on the crowded streets of India’s major cities would be able to “forage” enough food to feed themselves. This all from a 35 year old man. Apparently age does not always beget wisdom.

My goal is to write at least one piece of work before I leave here. I leave in a few days… I know I was planning on settling down but I just made contact with an acquaintence from high school who is also traveling around NZ and the thought of spending Christmas with a familiar face has prompted me to abandon any and all of my plans in the interest of tagging along with him, at least until the holidays are over.

So that’s where I am. Where are you?

Clea