people think i’m fancy

.

.

I like to think that i’m not a fearful or anxious person. Because i’m really not. I rarely have nightmares. I have no fear at all of public speaking. I’m not afraid of the dark or creepy old buildings. I’m not afraid of being seen naked. I’m not afraid of heights, unless a creaky ladder is involved. I’m not afraid of people. I’m not afraid of coyotes and wolves. I’m not all that afraid of death. I’m not afraid of snakes or bugs, and even spiders don’t bother me much anymore. This one time, a giant insect the size of a walnut flew into my car and buzzed around my head, and i just reached out and smashed the horrid thing with my hand and tossed it out the window like i was the Terminator.

But there’s one thing that still completely wrecks me — driving in the city when i don’t know where i’m going or how to get back to where i was. In Monday morning traffic. Trying to make out which exit i need to take with the bright-ass sun making everything hard to see. Figuring out the weird center of Nashville where every highway kind of merges into one big highway.

It makes me nervous. I don’t like it.

This has happened so many times recently when i have to give a coworker a ride home and it would be incredibly rude to say no. I always tell people that i don’t know Nashville that well, and i need dumbed-down step-by-step instructions. They can’t just sit back and say “head to east Nashville” or “go by the stadium” or “just head back to the highway.”

Nah. You gotta tell me “get in the left lane. Now turn left. Here. Where the red truck is turning.”

It’s sad.

I need a GPS thingy. I just don’t know how they work or where to get one.

.

.

Today, i gave Mz. Hodge a ride home for the first time, and it made me depressed and angry. Let me explain… she doesn’t like to drive, because she was legally blind as a child and then got cornea transplants when she was about thirty, and didn’t learn to drive until after that. She depends on the Metro bus, but works second shift with the Oaf or Gomez, and the buses don’t run after midnight. So she usually catches a ride home with them…

…but there are so many nights where the Oaf has to leave as soon as i get there, because he’s going to work a second shift at Omohundro or wherever. And Muna and Dahir are late. So he leaves, and Mz. Hodge is stranded. And then they’ll waltz in twenty minutes late, and say “whaaaaaat up, broski?”

And i feel like screaming, because Mz. Hodge will meekly say “oh, it’s okay, i’ll just walk. It’s no problem” and then walk home.

I cannot believe she walks that far. It’s insane, it’s across the entire city. It must take hours. All because my coworkers can’t show up on time.

One night, the Oaf stayed as long as he could, then reluctantly left. And Dahir pulled in literally one minute later.

It kills me.

And they’re late because they’re young and careless and they were getting high and having a swell time.

Fuck.

He’s called out twice in a row. Who knows, he might be gone after this.

Even worse, i’ve been carrying around my DVD copy of The Avengers in my backpack for over two months, in anticipation of the next Oaf night, because i know he’d love that movie. So when the Oaf texted me and said we’re working together tonight because Dahir is playing hookey, i double-checked and…

…why is one of Dahir’s old Jackie Chan movies in the case instead of The Avengers? What the fuck? I vaguely remember him having that, but i never watched it or touched it. Why is it in my fucking backpack and where are the goddamned Avengers?

Crap!

He also has my copy of The Gunslinger, still. Yeah, these are just things that can be replaced. But if dude loses his job because of this ongoing needless carelessness and i end up working with another wretched, bitter old codger as a result, i’m going to be so mad.

Raaaargh.

Why can’t people just handle things? It’s not hard.

.

.

And it’s December.

WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE SPRING. THIS IS TOTALLY WRONG. EVERYTHING IS INCORRECT. MY GOD, THE PILOT IS A PENGUIN AND HE’S BEEN DRINKING.

—————————-

So hey, read my Blog, or you can see me on Twitter, or check out my Behance Network gallery, or see my LinkedIn profile, or visit my Facebook Page, or see my Tumblr, or see my Art Pics on Pinterest. It’s up to you.