we got the Nilley

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Oh, i can’t sleep. But it’s cool. Guess what! We finally sold that mobile modular home that we never wanted to own in the first place. After five months of stress and madness, the nightmare is over…

…and just in time. My brother and i were starting to bicker over it. He was freaking out about having to pay rent on the damned thing every month, and kept saying that if we didn’t sell it by November, he’d have no choice but to move into it. And that was the one thing i’d never do. I said we should consider renting it, and that was the one thing he’d never do.

In the end, we lost money. We spent over $14,000 on it, and sold it for $12,000. So we each lost about a thousand bucks. That sucks, but it could have been worse. Much worse. The market here is so saturated that none of the dealers wanted it, and were offering five or six grand, or proposing wishy-washy consignment deals that sounded really fishy to me.

Once again, my brother owes me. Bigtime. Remember, the alternative to this was a nightmare scenario in which the thing went into foreclosure, destroying his credit, and leaving him responsible for $20,000 or more. Instead, we each lost a grand and we both spent mad amounts of time fooling with the damn thing. We are simple folk, not wheeler-dealers.

Whatever. Fuck it. Haul that shit away. I shouldn’t even be talking about this because we don’t have the cash in hand yet… i don’t want to jinx it and queer the deal.

Never queer the deal.

I’m slightly wary of getting it all in cash, though. Tennessee is one of the worst states when it comes to cops automatically confiscating any large amount of money they find on a motorist and classifying it as “drug money” so that you never get it back. When we get the other $11,000, we are putting it inside a thing, and then putting that thing inside another thing, and then putting it in the trunk underneath yet more things.

Hmm.

You know, i was just entering a self-imposed period of ultimate cheapskatery in order to compensate for the burden of the rent on that trailer. I was trying to save $5/day on food by eating ramen for lunch and $1 tins of smoked herring for dinner, with carrots on the side…

…i should continue this anyway. Mostly to save calories rather than money. When i went to the doctor the other day, i was aghast at how much i still weigh. My blood pressure is perfect and i feel fine, it’s just…. that horrible number. You don’t even want to know. Doctors always say that i don’t look like i weigh that much and ask if i’m carrying rocks in my pocket or something. I dunno, i think i have fat legs or my ass is solid meat or something. When i go back one year from now, i want that number to be less. Luna and i are both on a diet now.

My doctor used to be a big fat lady with curly hair. Now she’s skinny and has straight hair and looks younger than she did ten years ago. I asked her how she did it, and she said “gastric sleeve surgery.” Hey, damnit…. that’s cheating.

>__<

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Oh, gosh, my workplace. My workplace.

That new supervisor quit. Then another supervisor, Reese, was moved away due to sexual harassment. And my first reaction is that this sucks, because he was lenient and super cool to us. But he did seem to have issues, being a divorced fat guy approaching middle age and being rejected by all the women he was hitting on. He seemed to alternate between “oh, pity poor me” and “what’s wrong with these stuck-up bitches?” in his thinking. So then he decided to secretly take a picture of Miss Milliken’s butt when she wasn’t looking…

…which is an understandable temptation. Her butt is of Kardashian proportions. But still, you have to be professional.

Now they have almost no supervisors. No one wants the job. I would never take it. The few they have will be working insane amounts of overtime. As for me, they strangely haven’t called me for overtime this week despite the numerous holes in the schedule. Oh, well. I deserve a break.

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Ugh. The Oaf is off on a cruise. I worked last night with a guy who looked like a young version of Tyler Perry with a pronounced stutter. Tonight i worked with Nilley the Obese Snitch…

…why is this guy such a dick head? He volunteers to work overtime and then he bitches about it — and not in the acceptable, lighthearted way, he sounds genuinely petulant and bitter. He does no work. He just minces and mopes and glares in his 400-lb. effeminate manner. He’s more like an old lady than any man i’ve ever met. I hate how he expresses flowery distaste for anything out of the ordinary… like when testing a Nextel phone, i might choose to sing a small snatch of Gilbert and Sllivan, the line about being the model of a modern major general with information animal, vegetable, and mineral — and he’ll screech and exclaim “OHHH, LORDY! WHAT IN THE WOLRD? I DID NOT JUST HEAR THAT! IT’S TOO EARLY FOR ALL OF THAT YOU KNOW! MY WORD!” He says that about everything. While drinking a 2-liter of soda. That ain’t right.

What can you expect. He’s a Nilley.

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Man, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon seems so different than the last time i watched it. It’s still a cool movie and it’s worth seeing every time just for how unstoppably gorgeous Zhang Ziyi is at all times, but… man, that movie is a cartoon. Wasn’t it nominated for an Oscar? Directed by Ang Lee and considered a serious foreign film? Nah, it’s a cartoon. I like cartoons, but still. It’s a cartoon.

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