12.3.13

Weird vivid dreams last night. 

Nothing sexual just my typical strange vivid dreams with conversation, She was there in it.  Felt awkward, standing there having idle chatter when I felt that I should say something, apologize for all this. 

I have been sick as of late, cold, flu like symptoms. Makes work rather unbearable.

My son woke me this morning so he could spend time with me. I love that he does that. He looks at me like I’m a superhero, if he only knew how badly I fucked up I wonder if he’d still have the same shine in his eyes when he looked to me.

One day he’ll learn of my behavior, I just hope that I can redeem myself.

It’s been 7 weeks of sexual sobriety for which I’m grateful. At times I still have my urges but I don’t act upon them. Some days are more easy to facilitate this than others.

Anyhow, back to work I go.