Sleep & Iron

"If I let you, you would make me destroy myself. But in order to survive you, I must first survive myself. I can sink no further and I cannot forgive you.

There’s no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you. I’ve gone to great lengths to expand my threshold of pain.

I will use my mistakes against you.

There’s no other choice.

Shameless now.

Nameless now.

Nothing now.

No one now.

But my soul must be iron cause my fear is naked. I’m naked and fearless – and my fear is naked!"

Henry Rollins spoken word in "Bottom" Tool:Undertow

 
 The pain palace welcomed me, iron arms and unforgiving concrete block walls exacting their toll upon me like a debased metal in a crucible.

Here we shed the fat.

Here we shed our shame.

The weights stare at me with the allure of a mirage to a madman and in that dissociative fugue we begin, we shall renew ourselves.

Eyes reflecting dedication as legs push steel high, heels jackhammering the ground while breathe is expelled and we repeat, again and again.

Muscles throbbing as tendon, sinew and bone rescucitate their function, their duty to me. I will bind them and tame them and never again can I let myself slide so shamefully.

The ache is beautiful, legs swinging like lead ballasts, flush with blood, flesh pricked with excitement and adrenaline. My breathing is long and unlabored, more excitement than fatigue, this pain is envigorating and promising.