blah

I’m sad.

My husband has been gone for 2 days and it’s like… whatever.

We have spoken maybe twice, a few texts. He’s just… whatever.

I’ve built up a wall to just not think about it. I really just DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

He is doing what he wants and he didn’t care at all about how I felt. And believe me, I made it known, over and over to the point of nagging, but I didn’t know what else to do. I tried every method. I talked to him logically, appealed to his emotions, everything.

I can’t even withhold sex to show him how mad I am. lol. He is the one withholding from me!

whatever.

so far he has not died, but I haven’t heard from him since around 8:30 last night. He said he was going out to a club. Great. Who knows how that turned out.

I am not amused by any of this.

what really sucks is that my creative juices are completely stalled from all the stress lately. I can’t write for shit.

blugh.

On a happier note, my baby is totally walking. Nugget can go across a room before he gets wobbly and falls down. It’s really cute. He loves when we get excited over it. He’s such a big boy.

He’ll be a year old soon.

It happened so fast.

I just realized I haven’t been working for over a year too.

time just flies eh.

I hope you’re all doing well. I note now and then, but not as much as I should. I still haven’t shaken that weird scared feeling I get before I leave a note, as if you hate me or something. i’m so weird.

I have a headache.

I’m going to the store and I’m buying snacks. Even though those were gonna be for our little at home Memorial Day celebration, it seems my brother wants to take Jake and Jon on an all boy outing. So it’ll just be me and a pile of snacks. getting fat.

blah.

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Humanity Scar

(A zombie apocalypse survival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)

🙁 I really wish he would have understood what going on this trip not only is doing to you but possibly your whole family. Going was incredibly selfish on his part. What would he do if you just up and disappeared for 5 days? I hope Rian follows in Nugget’s footsteps soon. She is strong enough to walk, has decent balance, yet refuses to. I know on my end I definitely don’t hate you and appreciate any notes you send. In fact sometimes I feel the same way with you because of how badly I screwed up before. Hope you hear from Will soon.

gigantic hugs. Chris

I don’t know how anyone could ever hate you. You’re too awesome.

M.C.

May 26, 2013

Yeah to just disregard you like that. It’s not good. Is he not wise when he gives into wanting to do his own thing or something. There’s no need to feel like that hun you know we wouldn’t get angry at you.