my sons 51.50 psych hold part 2
OK, where did I leave off?
He was in the ER all day on Saturday.
He was never seen by a dr, only nurses. He was not given any real food until I got upset the last time I visited and before I left they gave him a cold tray of meatloaf.
He did not want to eat it, esp. since I had brought him some food to eat.
He hadn’t slept since Friday and I told him to try and sleep. the nurse said he’d get Jon a bigger more comfortable bed.
It didn’t happen.
I left and told Jon I’d come visit him as soon as I could on Sunday, but that I wouldn’t be able to come in the morning because his dad had to work and I couldn’t bring the baby there.
So… Sunday morning I called to lodge a complaint with my insurance. There is no reason an 11 year old should be sitting in an ER like that and not get fed and the like. I was not happy with their treatment. Even if there were no beds, they could have had a psych come evaluate him, but they did not. I was getting pretty angry at this point.
i also called the ER and fussed that my son needed real food. They did end up giving him some macaroni and cheese for lunch.
Around 1 I got a call that in 40 minutes he’d be transferred to a new place, BHC in Alhambra, about 40 minutes away. I was so sad. My baby was moving further away.
I just wanted a Dr. to look at him and see he was ok to be sent home. I know he needs follow up care, and I’m willing to do that, but keeping him in an ER room like that was NOT helping. Now they were finally sending him somewhere, but to what end?
I did not know.
He ended up calling me from his room (he got a nurse to bring him a phone Saturday night too and we spoke) and he was in really high spirits. He even had the nerve to tell ME that everything was going to be okay. He was upbeat and happy.
On a side note, not a SINGLE time did a nurse or anyone say he was acting poorly. He was calm, obedient and respectful to everyone he came into contact with. he did not act erratic or strange, he never tried to hurt himself, and besides being lonely and sad and wanting to come home, he was a perfectly normal 11 year old boy. How he held himself in a small little bed for an entire day WITHOUT going crazy is a testament to how NOT crazy he is. He never once gave the security guards a hard time. As a matter of fact, he started to talk to them and they became friends.
ANYWAY, when I found out he was being moved I told my husband (who was working yesterday) and we knew we’d have to go down there. I had delusions a dr. would see him right away and send him home.
no dice.
Thankfully Jacob was with my brother all day and did not have to go along.
We went down to this new place around 4.
It lookedlike a prison.
Gated in rec areas outside with pointy bars on top. Locked doors everywhere. Negative depressive energy hung over that place so thick it made my stomach hurt. We couldn’t bring anything but our ID’s in with us. Not even a cell phone. We were able to bring him some food to eat, which we did. The baby was allowed in, so that was nice. All of the kids we saw were older, once again. Nobody even close to 11 years old. You could see the "hardness" in their faces. I told Jonathon to not let them get into his head.
He already said that the moment he got in they started talking about sex and other things.
He’s 11, he doesn’t need to have that in his head.
When we first saw him, he was upset again. They said their policy was to keep him for 5 days or more. I had to keep my head from blowing off. NO THEY CANNOT KEEP HIM FOR 5 DAYS.
I’m sorry, my son does NOT need to be there.
He needs help with his anger, yes, but he does NOT need to be there.
He is so humbled and broken from this, I will not allow them to take advantage and keep him there. They have until 7:30 tonight to release my son, case closed. As I mentioned, not a single time has he shown himself to be a danger to himself. He has been calm and respectful, even at the new place. They said he was doing just fine. They said he would see a dr this morning and go to a group therapy session.
That’s all well and good, but do not scare my son and make him think he’s there on their normal deal. I erad up on it, most people send their kids their for 5 days voluntarily. That is NOT what is happening with my son. He is forced to be there because of this hold and when it is up, they will let him go.
THEY WILL NOT PENALIZE MY SON BECAUSE IT TOOK THEM SO LONG TO GET HIM THERE.
I won’t allow it.
I already have a few lawyers I will call immediately if they try to keep him there. I will not hesitate to ask my dad for a loan if need be.
My son WILL come home today.
I’ve already called his psychiatrist and therapist. I’m waiting for them to call me back. I will do what needs to be done to help my son, but staying in a residential mental health facility is not what he needs.
I know that I feel guitly and sad. I have slept maybe 5 or 6 hours since Friday.
But it’s more than my own emotions. I know that my son does not need that type of environment. I am his mother and I know.
I want to get him help, especially for his anger.
Yesterday he told me that he knew that. I said I was sorry if I pushed his buttons and he said "No mom, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. I chose that."
That is the most mature responsible thing he’s said to me in his entire life.
He does not need to be there.
He needs to be home.
i will lose my mind if they try to keep him there. I will simply lose it.
So that’s where we are at. The Dr. is supposed to call me today, but if I hear nothing in an hour (it’s almost 10 AM) I am going to call there and see what is going on. I want to have as much time as possible to get a lawyer if they try to pull this keeping him there shit.
They could only possibly want to keep him there to get the money for it. He is NOT exhibiting signs that he is still a danger to himself. He is not there because I want him there. They need to let my son go so they can have a bed open for someone who really needs it.
Anyway, that’s where we are. I’ll be ending this story tonight.
at least I hope I am.
pray for us.
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I hope this ordeal is over with soon. Hugs and prayers.
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So hoping you can get him out of there. How stupid that they have him with kids that are so much older. I wish he didn’t have to be around them at all. Praying for you guys.
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love you
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I hope you get it situated. My mom had my brother go, it was supposed to be for a few days max. He was fine when we’d visit, and then he’d flip his shit when we left. He was there all summer… 14 weeks…
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that sounds very much how the process works here. We had issues with the hospital that works those petitions for not having evaluations done on the weekends or untimely, which meant the patient was held longer than necessary, in some cases. We started denying claims where no dr saw the patient for no other reason than to say there wasnt a dr staffed. if he agrees to treatment & has a means for it
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like you (support from family, etc) they should release him.
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I hope this story ends tonight, too. I don’t know you well but I know you well enough to be sure that you are going to help your child no matter what it takes.
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<3 <3 <3
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I will be. I’m sorry. I wish there was some way I could help.
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Hang in there, M. I really hope they cooperate and let him leave soon. You guys will get through this. Your whole family, you’ll be okay. <3
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Seriously…what good is the hold actually doing if they don’t have someone evaluating him?! THAT’S what’s BS. I know they’re probably holding him until he can be evaluated…but that should be a priority.
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🙁 *love*
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Jesus, I can’t even imagine. That poor little boy. I know you did exactly what you needed to do and I cannot believe the frustration you are dealing with. To have a child in with teenagers is insane and I cannot believe they moved him to a place like that. And to wait so long to see a doctor? What the fresh hell is that? I hope you don’t have to go extreme lengths to get him released.
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That was mature. He was responsible there. I forgot to tell you that the doctors told me that I’d never see my parents again and I’d be put into foster care.
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*hug* I’m so sorry yall are going through this. Praying!
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you’re all in my prayers and heart, but he already has a psychiatrist and therapist? what the heck have they been doing to get him out of there???
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