hey hey panic attack, pull up a chair. *E pile!

well, i was a little irritable. but now i’m downright frustrated and stressed.

a few things.

*I was given the task of counting up the number of leaves of abscence I’ve processed since July of last year. I have to wade through my spreadsheet because there really is no way to sort or "find" the data because I have to read comments for each leave and make sure they qualify for the numbers she wants.

I did it about 5 times, got different numbers every time, and about had a fucking bitch fit because I don’t get WHY IT’S NOT WORKING.

*I just got an email that is basically taking the leaves of absence from me and I’ll have to try to "train" someone on what to do. I have no fucking clue what that means but it makes my head hurt. Not because I have to do it, but because my boss, who has been talking to me all day, did this by email and didn’t warn me. I just told her the stress here is making me sick, so she does something to stress me out. someone just fucking kill me.

*I am sick to death of thinking abou tmoney and being alive. I want to just crawl into bed right now and not HAVE TO get up for a long time.

*I don’t like people. I don’t like having someone that I feel like I should be important to ignoring me. I see them pop up all over, but they havent’ said a word to me. Yeah, petty internet shit, but if you’ve been "friends" with someone for almost 11 years WHY would you just ignore them? My head hurts. i don’t LIKE PEOPLE.

I don’t want to do ANYTHING.

I’m stressing the fuck out.

all of you die.

zombies eat the brains.

meteor crash into the earth.

something.

i wanna go home and cry.

but I have to go home and cooke and be SOMETHING i don’t know what.

i’m stressing out.

might just go barf.

whatever.

WHAT IS WRONGW ITH ME.

my life is NOT THAT BAD.

my ability to cope is failing.

i’m failing as a human.

i don’t.

know

stress.

ugh.

*E: Pile it on. I was calming myself with music on the train, get to my car and I have a parking ticket for expired registration. Uhhh, we just bought the fucking car and there is a temp registration in the window. Did the parking officer even look? Probably not. I feel like leaving a note there because I’ll be getting a ticket every fucking day until the shit is processed. Why bother putting the shit in the window if it’s just going to get ignored?

It pissed me off and my entire night feels tainted and ugly. I didn’t even enjoy driving home (the thing I was looking forward to all damn day).

My stress is reaching stupid heights. I’m crying and being retarded. I really REALLY need to find a way to calm the fuck down. This is ridiculous.

Oh yeah, I have a ticker. Look at that!

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        Humanity Scar   

 (A zombie apocalypse survival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)