how about an anvil on your head? *E rant

 I was all prepared to come write some silly entry and post some more pics…

but my boss just sent me unemployment information and I’m really just not in the mood.

What the fuck 2010.

You were supposed to be a good year for me.

Now I’m not so sure.

I could, at best, be demoted to making just enough money to cover my rent and bills. Nevermind anything else.

but with the receipt of this ominous unemployment crap, I’m not even hopeful for that.

Do you know, at most, from unemployment, I can pull in 1800 bucks.

that’s HALF of what I make now. Barely half.

That’s… fuckin… not even rent and my car payment. Let alone food for my kids or anything else.

I swear to god I would have to find a new job fucking FAST to keep my head above water.

It’s just not even remotely cool.

I came into this year, just a mere month ago with the following hopes for my year:

*I’d get my divorce finalized

*I’d get married

*I’d start working on having my last child with Baboo

*I’d get my head above water with all of my bills and crap

*It would be a good year!

Now… I jus think

*I’ll get my divorce finalized, but I"ll end up having to file for bankruptcy to get out from under the pile of debt and doom that he left me with

*I’ll get married, but it’ll be another super small dopey ceremony, probably with just our families and no presents or reception

*I don’t know if I can’ start working on having another child simply because I won’t be able to afford it. I will have to find a new job, and being pregnant as soon as you start somewhere new isn’t a good thing. I’ll have to be able to pay for health insurance out of my pocket because that will be gone, and it’s not cheap. Adding a baby to the mix is just too much to think of. I probably won’t even get to have a baby at this rate. I’ll just get to keep thinking about it until my dumb ovaries shrivel up and die.

*I won’t ever get my head above water. Like I said, I’ll just have to file for bankruptcy and drown for the next decade.

*It is NOT going to be a good year.

*sigh*

I’m doom and gloom right now. I don’t even know anything for sure. but the dept I’m working in is DEFINITELY targeted. It makes me just SICK to sit here doing interviews for positions for people who will come into them and immediaetly get laid off. How stupid can people be to come to a temporary position?

idiots.

i hate this whole situation, and quite frankly, I’m scared to death.