Wow, you really need to wash your cooter

 I’m writing this to vent, not offend. If you’re offended, sorry, but uhhh, it’s not my problem.

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SMELL HER!!!!

Time for a Dear You… and it’s mean. so if you’re all like "oh don’t mean to people for this and this reason, and you’re a fatty too!" then  uhh, shut up and go away yourself!

*ahem*

Dear Co worker,

Ummm. You smell bad. Like really bad. Like 5 day old fish bad. My overly active imagination is conjuring up what is lurking between the layers of skin you’ve OBVIOUSLY neglected cleaning. And you have far too many folds and crinkles to neglect them… mold loves moist dark places…

I can’t think about it too much longer cuz I’ll throw up.

You decided to come into my cube and perch your big bottom on my desk. The smell was immediate and made my eyes water. You stayed far too long talking about stuff I really couldn’t help you with and it took all of my will power and patience to keep the gags down and to not look at you like you were disgusting.

Honestly… it’s too much.

And when you left, you left a nice hovering cloud of your stench. I surely hope the people who have come by since don’t think it’s ME that smells like that.

I do like to keep my vagina clean. It may not always smell like a summers breeze, but I’d like ot hope it doesn’t make people want to lose their lunches.

I pride myself on being clean.

very clean.

You can do it too! The only thing is, you have to bathe. And use soap. And perhaps baby powder or something.

I implore you:

Please, bathe.

PLEASE.

Thanks,

Your disgusted co-worker

Dear Supervisor,

I’m sorry if you came into my cubicle and smelled the rancid fish blob that jsut left. IT WASN’T ME.

Thank you so much for smelling like flowers and sweetness because you banished the stink immediately.

Sniffing you gently,

You’re happy subordinate

Dear Air Freshener,

You’re coming to work with me. Oh yes. You are.

Thanks!

A nose in need

The end.

ugh.

And lunch is in an hour and 20, I sure hope I’m not grossed out still.

I just hope stinky mcstink woman stays away.

This also happens to be the lesbian who likes to rub against me.

I don’t want to think about it anymore…