Oh Dear…

Well, lets start Monday with some letters…

Dear Open Diary,

Why do I have to have a GIANT AD screaming at me every time I go to the front page? I can’t seem to avoid it. First it was teeth with braces and pizza stuck in it. Gross! Then it was some stupid Hallmark channel ad. Now it’s a giant sad puppy face! It’s already Monday! I don’t need to be reminded about how messed up the world is and how people mistreat their animals! Agady!!!! I really need to find the log in page that DOESN’T show ad’s because I AM an OD plus user damn it!

Dear Facebook,

Ummm, what is going on with you? First you reel me in and get me addicted… and now you’r enot working. Over half of my applications won’t load. My farms… I’m gonna lose a buttload of crops ify ou don’t let me in! I can’t get to half of my things and it’s making me sad. At least Cafe World is working, my new addiction. LOL. But STILL, Facebook… COME ON. Why  are all of them going down at once? It’s not fair!!! Then last night, half of my applications didn’t recognize my friends and I couldn’t accept gifts or anything. It’s really annoying. Fix yourself or I’m gonna kill you.

Do you WANT TO DIE?!!!!!

(If anyone has any suggestions on why my shiz isn’t working, I’m open to hear them!)

Dear Baboo,

I’m really sorry about last night. i was freakin tired and I had a beer and it made me groggy. I know you came at me to try and get "somethin somethin" but i turned you down. You rebelled and shaved off the facial hair that I like so much. You still look delicious, but I miss the contoured facial lines. Oh well… lets try to have sex when I’m not really fatigued. It’ll be fun I promise!

(Yes, you read that right. I turned down sex last night. I was sleeping and didn’t want to wake up!)

Dear Nature Valley Roasted Nut Crunch bar,

Ummm, you’re sorta nasty. I think it’s the sunflower seeds. Too many. but I bought you, so I’ll eat you! Damn it!

Dear Body,

Why are you being mean to me? First, I wake up with a wicked headache even though I only had 2 beers and I haven’t had a hangover in months. Then my butt explodes right before I have to leave work and Pepto does not taste good with toothpaste mouth. And now you are aching and being stupid. I hate you.

Dear Zombieland,

Love love love.

Dear New Shoes,

Love love love.

Dear pillow,

Love love love….