A new delectable fragrance…

i feel like I’m going to explode.

Literally.

I have to pass gas.

I’m fillllled with gas!

I know you care.

it’s sexy.

My farts are so seducitve.

"oh… what is that?! It must be Moniques fart!"

Yes, I’m going to create a line of body washes and perfumes.

ugh.

I guess I could try to go to the bathroom, but UGH.

I feel gigantic right now.

and it hurts.

stupid intestines full of gas!

Anyway, hello.

I forgot what I was gonna write about because of the gas pains.

I wish they were period pains, but they are not.

it’s a fart.

it’s coming.

MAKE WAAAAAAY

 

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September 15, 2009

I thought I saw a “Moniques fart” body wash in “Bath and Body Works”. They told me it was a limited time only thing. I bought about a gallon. Haven’t opened it yet though.

September 15, 2009

I have a feeling this entry was followed by a cloud of green fumes.

September 15, 2009

I had a lot of those pains yesterday, lol.

B+
September 15, 2009

I used to tell people (at work) that the BEST cure for gas pain was to ‘assume the position’. The position is face down, with your legs tucked under your body so that your butt is in the air… face to the floor (great for sex too)… arms stretched out on either side of you. You’ll luck f*cking ridiculous, but it really helps!!

B+
September 15, 2009

*look… not luck… luck rhymes with f*ck… probably why I wrote it… but look…

September 15, 2009

Oh. My. Gosh. You are something else! Lol!

September 15, 2009

Ew! lol. I have to go play catch up now!!

September 15, 2009

OK, I went and read your entries from today. So basically, test says negative and still no period! UGH! What the hell, dude?!?!?!?!

ryn: i’m gonna answer, it doesn’t make you weird at all!

September 15, 2009

I hope you have an office… or maybe not… haha..

September 15, 2009

LOL. Girl, you and your comical crazy farts! RYN: Yeah, I don’t blame you there! And yeah…we cam all be a little “mental” from time to time! Lol.

September 15, 2009

F***, I HATE typos! That. Is. CAN! LOL!

September 15, 2009

You are…one of the most bizarre people I have ever met. I still love you, regardless of what vile, noxious gases come out of your @$$.