In a Grand Master Funk
I have been in a serious funk.
Like majorly glum and blue and not up to writing or reading.
I’d apologize, but really, you all know I’m sorry and feel horrible, don’t you?
I guess that was sorta like an apology anyway.
So here I am.
Back at work and Monday sucks.
I have a lot to catch up on, both in reading and writing.
I figure I’ll be back up to speed by Thursday. ha ha.
My house is devoid of any type of children and I’m starting my period soon (probably today or tomorrow at the latest) and I feel all sad and depressed and I want to scream and cry.
It’s hard to do what I normally do when I feel this way, why?
Because Baboo is there.
And he’s been extra sensitive and sweet and trying so hard to be there for me, which is good.
But I want to get naked and crawl deep under my blankets and sob. I can’t do that. It makes me look crazy.
Speaking of crazy, it’s getting worse.
My OCD is ramping up like whoa. Like my number counting and my fear of "multiple spots or circles" (I’ll explain it later if I think about it) and my hand washing. OMG, the other day I washed my hands like 8 times in less than 5 minutes. I found myself doing it and forced myself to stop.
yep, monique is LOSING IT.
I feel crampy and gross and I have a full inbox, 8 phone messages, and a strange sealed envelope that I found on my chair.
All of these things scare me.
I’ll come back when I’m done wading through the madness.
I love you and miss you!
I say go for it-there’s nothing like a good cry. I’m glad Baboo is at least trying and not being a total douche
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HUGS!!
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I miss chooo and love you toooooo!!!! Come back soon mo mo!
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Sometimes a good cry is always in order no matter who is around. <3 Hope things get better for you soon. You’re always in my thoughts.
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The good thing is that Grand Master Funk is an excellent rap name.
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Cannot wait for an update. I’ve been WONDERING WHAT IS GOING ON! UPDATE!
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Wow. I’m sorry it’s so nuts. I love you and miss you too!!
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yeah for baboo being nice and boo for hormones, i am finally back to normal but not lovin from T yet boo!!!!
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I’m right there with you re: the grand funk. I was wondering about you yesterday because it occurred to me that you hadn’t written much. This is the first I remember reading that you have OCD issues!
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You on any meds? I get bad before my period. Prozac helps me. Good luck gettin’ through the day.
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Awww.. we love and miss you too. Things will get back on track soon.
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OCD sucks man! It can be hard not to engage, within, “those certain weird rituals of your’s,” when anxiety seems to rise, for whatever reason! I also try to monitor myself with it, as well! And…the past day or two…I’d seemed to be doing pretty good with it, and then yesterday…(when the sonbitch, anxiety, tried to creep up on me again, I found myself, slipping back, into “My weird ways,” a
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bit, once again! But…it’s gonna happen, from time to time, anyway! Can’t be expected not to ever “slip up!” Just gotta try to be mindful of it, and do the best you can with it! I’m also a “hand washer” too! Lol. Although, I don’t think I’m Nearly as bad with it, the last few years! And…what is it about, “Multiple spots or circles,” that gives you fear?
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Aww, I’m glad Baboo is being sweet to you! But I do understand what you mean about not wanting to look like a crazy for sobbing your eyes out. I can’t tell you when the last time I had a good cry was, though I’ve wanted to several times over the past few months. Stupid crowded house. I miss your updates!
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*big hug* I’m sorry you’re stressed so much…
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Shower Cries are the best. You can be crazy without people in your home knowing you’re totally crazy. Of course, if Baboo has spent any time with women at all, then he already knows women are crazy! Personally, I would talk to him about it. I mean, he’s going to find out about your OCD at some point.
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*big squishy hugs*
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I dont know.. there’s something great about crawling naked under a blanket and sobbing when no one is around to hear it or knows about it. If no one knows about it, did it really happen>
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