Brilliant!

Oh, I totally forgot to write about my moment of great brilliance last night!

So Jonathon had taken Ceaser out to walk and I was going to go catch up with him and finish things. I had just gone to the bathroom and left my keys on the sink and as I was walking out of the front door I was thinking "I should lock the door since nobody will be in the house. I should put my keys in my pocket. Oh well, Jon will come back inside, I don’t need to lock the door."

and I proceed to LOCK THE DOOR AND CLOSE IT.

*blink*

Yeah… that was really smart of me. I know!

So I had to bust into my sons room by pushing out the air conditioner duct thingie. It was actually pretty hard to do, so at least I know it was sturdy! Now I have to go to the store and get some tape and re-install / seal it. I think I’ll use the same sort of tape and some duct tape too.

I have to do a "house stuff" shopping trip for toilet paper and bath soap and crap like that. i never think of these things! ha ha.

I wish I had a gift card *le sigh*.

Last night I was feeling so sad about this whole ex-friend thing. I HATE losing friends. I hate the empty space it creates. I feel so fucking betrayed and… like someone was just using me for something. and I’m not sure what they could even get out of me. It’s just confusing me and it’s making me sad.

ugh. I can’t wait for my period to be over so I can normalize.

Cept that really only happens for one week and then it all starts over again.

Being a girl is a hot mess.

blah.

Wanna know a secret?

I feel even more sure that I won’t have another child. It just sorta fell on me like an anvil the other night.

It hurts. I really want one.

But… it’s probably not going to happen.

and I dunno, I just have to EAT IT.

like the disgusting reality that it is.

speaking of eating disgusting reality…

I have a frozen meal for lunch. mediterranean style chicken and pasta. It’s pretty tasty, I’ve had it before. I wish I could make the sauce, it doesn’t seem complicated. And it has these green olives that i usually hate, but they taste really good!

Oh yeah! I also forgot to mention that Ceaser got out of his "area" yesterday. but I’m not sure how, it was still sealed and good when I checked it. But there he was all excited at the door when we opened it. I don’t think he was out long, mainly because nothing was disturbed. I know he for sure would have tipped the trash can if he was out. He hadn’t pooped or peed anywhere. I really think he’s already house trained. He does so good and he’s already chosen his favorite bathroom spots. I need to get some sort of lead and a harness for him so he can run and play outside in the little front yard area on the weekends. I don’t think it’s mean to have him on a long lead able to play out there with minimal supervision. I just want him to get some good outside time, and I know I won’t want to sit outside fo rhours… so we’ll see.

blah blah more ramble bramble.

I want iced tea.