Oh Dear…

Dear Gym,

I’m sorry I’m flakey. I just can’t make it today. I’m sure you won’t burn down… but I also won’t be burning any calories. I’ll try again tomorrow. Don’t give up on me!

Dear Body,

I know you saw that letter I just wrote to the gym. You are getting one more day, and then it’s back into shape with you! I don’t want to hear any exscuses. You’re old but that doesn’t mean you have to be flabby!

Dear Children,

I will try to be nice to you, but could you PLEASE stop throwing your blankets all over the floor? Seriously, You are probably harboring all sorts of bugs underneath it. *shiver* Also… going to bed on time is not an option. I don’t know why you have to fight me so much. I love you so much and you’ll probably be the only children I have… I want to enjoy you more.

Dear house,

I’m gonna try to clean you this weekend, but really i don’t want to. You look a mess. I can’t keep you clean for a single day. I can blame my children for being such mess hogs and I can blame myself for being a mess hog… but I also have to blame the fact that I’m lazy and the thought of working all day and having to go home and continue to work nonstop cleaning just doesn’t appeal to me. It’s very hard.

I hate you.

Dear work,

I am going to do you today! Hard and fast! Oh yeah!

Dear Spicy Chicken Bowl,

Well, not only did I forget my gym clothes, I forgot a lunch. Not really, I just ran out of time. I should probably get up 10 minutes earlier than I do. Anyway, I suppose I’ll get to enjoy your company later. Maybe you’ll make me feel better.

Dear Boyfriend,

What can I possibly do to fix this tear I feel forming? Please tell me. I’ll do anything.

Dear bugs in my house,

GET THE FUCK OUT!!!! You are not welcome here!!! I’m sick of you!!!!

Dear me,

Please try to focus and have a good day. You have the most power over your moods. So get your head out of your ass and fix it.

Dear phone calls,

I’m sorry. I keep saying weird shit. I know when someone says "thank you", I’m supposed to say "you’re welcome"… not "you too!"

Whatever, maybe I shouldn’t answer the phone anymore today.

Dear OD,

I love you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for connecting me with all my favorites and friends.

Dear Favorites and Friends,

Thank you for reading me, understanding me, giving me the honest truth, caring about me and letting me know. I can’t imagine what a mess I’d be if I was really dealing with everything completely alone. I like to pride myself on being anti-social and not having a lot of "real life" friends (how insane am I to be proud of that really…???)… but it’s a lie. I don’t need so many "real life" friends because I have such amazing and most awesome out of this world friends right here. And it seems like you fill most of the space that is usually filled with "real life" friends. I don’t know what this means about ME, but I do know it means you rock and I love you.

Dear Diary,

today sucks. But I’ll get through it.