The Bad Things I Want To Do

Ok, so now, to complete this stream of entries for the morning, I shall list all the bad things this stress is making me want to do. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, feel free to take a moment and read back to the 3 entries I’ve already written today and see that I’m sorta cracking and it’s looking disastrous.

So onward to bad things I want to do:

*Drugs. Seriously. I don’t even LIKE drugs (well most of them anyway) but I really want to do some drugs right now. Anything (except heroin, cuz according to Baboo that’s the worst drug EVAR and he would dump me if I did that, but I’m free to do any other drugs I want). I want to just snort a bunch of stuff up my nose, pop some pills, smoke a few substances, jab a few needles in my veins and fall over. wheee!

*Alcohol: Yes. I am seriously considering stopping at the grocery store and buying a bottle of champagne or vodka and drinking myself into stupidity tonight. Not a good idea because I do NOT recover from alcohol that well. I tend to over sleep and have horrible hang overs and I HAVE TO come to work tomorrow… not to do work, but to fill out the divorce papers! ha ha! But if it were possible… I would.

Or I’d stop at a bar and load up on shots and mixed fruities. 

I want to go out ot eat and order a few margarita and strawberry Daqs.

I want to go to a club (on a wednesday!!! hahahahah) and have strangers buy me booze so they can try to feel my boobs on the dance floor. 

I want to have a flask hidden in my pocket and take swigs all day. Yeah… that’ll work.

*Violence: Yes, I am violent. And I’d like to beat a few people over the head with a bat. I’d also like to run some people over with my car. Stab someone in the face. Sucker punch an old lady. And (to live out the dream I had the other day) get into a knock down drag out hair pu lling roll on the floor fight with a giant pregnant chick who pushes me.

I would also like to do all of these things with the man who tricked me into marrying him. And then I want to submerge him in gasoline (or jet fuel if I could find it) and set him on fire and watch him explode.

but first I’d cut his dick off and make him eat it.

*sigh* Too bad…

*Gluttony: Yes, I want to eat. I want to eat a lot of things:

I’d like a large pepperoni pizza with soft delicious crust.

I want paremsany cheesy buttery breadsticks.

I want flaming hot wings.

I want a giant perfectly aged porterhouse steak, cooked medium rare with a baked sweet potato with brown sugar, butter and chives.

I want a giant soft smooshy roll dripping with butter.

I want a juicy giant cheeseburger with bacon and cheese.

I want a giant plate of pasta with alfredo sauce. Follow that up with another plate with regular spagetti, but spicy and full of vegetables and chunks of sausage and meatballs.

I want a steaming stretchy plate of lasagna. 

 I want sizzling grilled shrimp. Like 15 of them.

I want a pile of bar b qued pork roast and some bread to stuff it on.

I want a platter of Chinese food including orange chicken, kung pao chicken, pepper beef, egg rolls, those fried noodles, fried rice, teriyaki, and mushrooms!

I want a massive pile of Mcdonals french fries and chicken nuggets (I don’t knwo WHY I want that… ha ha).

And some garlic bread.

For dessert I want a hot fudge sundae piled with nuts and whipped cream. 

I want chocolate cake.

I want a giant fresh baked cookie. Several different kinds: Chocolate chip, sugar, oatmeal, chocolate chip with nuts (pecans, walnuts, almonds)…

 I want a brownie a la mode.

I want some creme brulee (sp?).

I want pudding.

and honey roasted peanuts.

And jello (ha ha, jello!).

 I want a triple layer fruit tart.

I want donuts. Sugary warm donuts.

I want muffins and more cake, vanilla this time with whipped cream frosting.

I want some sort of gourmet confection with raspberries and chocolate and melting fudge.

I want to drown in a vat of rocky road ice cream and then swim over to another vat of cookie dough ice cream.

Hell, I just want a blob of cookie dough.

Wash it all down with a couple liters of pepsi.

*burp*

*Sleep: I want to sleep for the next week and wake up to a new life. It might be worse though, so I guess I can’t do that.

*Sex: I want to take baboo home and work him so hard and long his weiner needs 2 months to recover. I want to rip his clothes off and time him to the bed and fuck the righteous holiness out of him and then stop for a pizza break (make this one extra cheese with green peppers, mushrooms, olives, and sausage!) and then do him some more. I want him to fall asleep inside of me. ha ha. gross? MAYBE BUT THAT’S WHAT I WANT. and then I want to poke holes in all the condoms and get knocked up and have a super cute baby with him.

*Other: I want to crash my car into a wall.

I want to see what it’s like to slice my wrists open (the ambulance can be standing by!).

I want to flip off people randomly and see what they do.

I want to rant and rave at people for any little thing they do that I don’t like.

I want to get into a fight with a homeless person and make them cry.

I want to rip my clothes off and run down the street screaming "wooba wooba wooba!"

I want to knock over mailboxes with a bat while someone drives me down a country lane.

I want to rob a bank.

I want to drive my car off a bridge.

I want to get in my car and drive and drive and never stop and leave my entire life behind. I would have a new identity and just create a new existence for myself.

I want to go crazy and just sit in a padded room with my jello and my pretty spork (pink!) and talk to all the friends in my head.

I want to give up. (oh stop being a drama queen monique. jesus)

I want to die. (you never listen…)</sup>

the ambulance can be standing by….