stall tactics and broken brains!

I can’t focus on anything to save my life. I work for MAYBE 3 minutes before i have to click away to do something else, read something else, look at something else. It’s annoying me. I know I have STUFF that needs to be done, but I just can’t get around to actually DOING any of it.

blah.

i also have a really bad sick feeling in my stomach. today needs to hurry up. 45 minutes till lunch, but even though i’m really hungry, eating doesn’t seem that fun to me. I wish I had some soup and some soft fluffy biscuits. That would be awesome.

we will have left over tacos for dinner tonight. I must remember to take out some chicken to make tomorrow. Baboo said he was gonna come over! I miss him. I can’t even get stern and have "big important talks" with him, cuz really i just want to cuddle him and be next to him and love him.

I’m a suckah. as he so adequately tells me. but i really can’t explain why he’s got me on such a lock down. it makes me feel so crazy.

so yeah, food. I really need to shop. it was hard to not pick up a slab of ribs at the store yesterday, they were only 15 bucks! but i managed to get all that I wanted under 20, so that works in my budget for now. I need some more food, but what food? Maybe I’ll unthaw the turkey. I want to make turkey chili. I still have some pink beans I was gonna cook and make chili with. I should soak those tomorrow. If only the evil roommate didn’t unplug my crock pot! bah!

ew, talking about food when my stomach feels like this, is horrible.

so all of my co workers were gossiping about me yesterday… saying I was having morning sickness and that i was pregnant. i had to be.

*blink*

uhhh, no friends, not quite.

we’ve not been trying.

probably never will.

why can’t i just be happy with the kids i have? I ask myself this.

Because I do want another. 3 is a good number to me.

I also want to have a baby that is wanted and planned and a pregnancy that isn’t filled with me wanting to kill myself.

Yeah yeah, pretty selfish reasons. but really, who has kids for unselfish reasons?

think about it.

anyway, here i sit.

churning stomach.

broken brain.

I can’t wait for the weekend to come so i can just trip all over myself into my bed and do nothing.

i don’t even want to play assassins creed or the sims or anything.

i just wanna lay in my bed and take naps between watching things on my dvr.

I finally watched the last Avatar last night with my kids. so cute. I wish they were gonna make more, but probably not.

though there is no AIR chapter.

they need an AIR chapter.

AIR.

laugh.

what?

nevermind, i told you my brain was just BROKEN.

i feel discombobulated.

like, my day yesterday wasn’t quite enough.

I probably could have gotten away with 2.

but i need to save my sk time.

i know my  kids will be falling all over themselves to get a virus soon enough.

ok, so i’m gonna go try to focus now.

it won’t be easy.

oh wait before i go.

i must whine a little bit more about this moving thing.

i really NEED out.

i want a living room that i feel comfortable in and a kitchen that is mine!

blah.

did i mention that jimmy is transferring out of my division? so i wont’ have to work with my landlord anymore. ha ha. but the bad part is that he’s so cool, i wish i could just have the whole house!

it’d probably be like 4 grand. ha ha.

don’t have that.

sometimes i wish baboo wanted to live with us.

it would make finding something so much easier.

blah.

i’m gonna go stab my face.

i mean work….