Killer

 

 

 

 

I obviously don’t want to do any more work today:

1) If you got married to your significant other what would your last name be? 
Nothing. Cuz I have no "significant other".

2) What did you do today? 
Wasted a bunch of time.

3) When do you plan on having kids or your next kid?
I’m going to carve out my uterus with a ice cream scooper.

4) Do you know a secret about your last ex that would embarrass them?
They are gay.

5) Can you take a bra off with one hand? yes, while using the other one.

6) Can you use chopsticks? To poke out your ugly eyes!

7) How old were you when you lost your first tooth?
*stabs questions with a chopstick in the eye*

8) Were you a hyper or mellow kid?
I was hyper because I wanted everyone to pay attention to me. Not much has changed I guess.

9) Why did you throw up last? *barf* right now.

10) Last time you were drunk?*hic*

11) What’s for dinner? I don’t know if I’m honest.

12) Ever been to the Statue of Liberty? *stabs question in the other eye*

13) Voting for Hillary? I’m not ready

14) How many e-mail addresses do you have? enough

15) Do you HAVE to have brand name stuff? Isn’t everything brand name???

16) Last time you washed your hair? *crumbles hair off my scalp with a touch of my finger* I guess it’s been too long

17) Who will you be sleeping with tonight? Ghosts and Skeletons

18) Do you like Oreos? They sure do like me

20) Can you ice skate? *searches for another stabbing chopstick*

21) Do you have a brother? *finds the chopstick and stabs away!*

22) Do you know how to change a diaper? *screams because there are no more chopsticks to be found!

23) Do you flip people off while driving? I’ll flip you off right now!

24) What color is your car? dirty.

25) Would you take a bullet for anyone? No, what would I do with it?

26) Do you keep a planner or scheduler? *finds a pointy stick!*

27) Who’s your favourite American Idol judge? *stabs with the pointy stick! hooray!*

28) Do you like to grocery shop? Only when I have enough money to get what I want

29) What kind of mood are you in? I’m not telling you. YOu’re an eyeless stabbed up survey oracle! ew!

30) Last time you cleaned? *continues to stab*

31) Did you get an Easter Basket?  *skewers several vital organs*

32) What pills do you take daily? gloom pills

33) Are you in anyone’s wedding this year? Only as the massacre artist

34) Do you do your own laundry? No, I have this FABULOUS imaginary maid. She looks just like me!

35) Do you go tanning? *eats organs on a stick*

36) Has someone close to you passed away this year? I can make it happen

37) Bubble baths or showers? *mmm organs*

40) What’s the best part about being single? Your heart isn’t in the hand of some evil fiend who can kill it at any time they deem necessary.

41) Paper or plastic? *douses oracle with lighter fluid*

42) Do you watch "The Hills"?  *lights a match*

43) Last CD you played?*burn baby burn!*

44) What did you do last Saturday night? Robbed a bank, had sex with a millionaire, flew to europ in a hot air ballon and shot at natives.

45) What do you order from McDonalds? bar b qued oracle

46) Which one of your friends is going to have the cutest baby? Me.

47) What is the theme of your bedroom? How about I just kill you again?

48) Wearing any bracelets? *kills*

49) Last thing someone bought for you? *enjoys the killing immensely*

50) What are you going to do now?  whats up with this question. I"m obviously going to go waste more time.
 

 

i’m obviously in a mood.

ha ha!