Betrayal Ruins Everything (More Details)

 

I wish I could go favs only and be able to know that what i write in my favs only entries would stay there. But yesterday, even after I had cut what I thought were mutual favs, my entries were STILL being relayed back. i was told that there were SEVERAL people who went back to the other person and told her that I was lying about her and were "concerned" about… whatever.

So, there are people who I thought were favs who are obviously not.

So if you can possibly grow a spine, just let me know it was you. If you know what this situation is, then you know you are involved. Please tell me so that I can continue on with the people in my life that are NOT going to go whining and pouting to a diarist and saying "she’s saying mean things about youuuuu" and then copying and pasting MY ENTRIES to her, who I didn’t want to see them.
i wanted this to end quietly.

but it’s not.

I was demanded to post an apology, but I refuse. I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t trying to plant seeds of suspicion or discontent. I didn’t tell ANY lies. I simply expressed my feelings and someone felt like it was their responsiblity to take my private thoughts and blast them to someone I OBVIOUSLY didn’t want to know about them.

And that is a betrayal I cannot understand or tolerate.

So until the "several" people decide to come clean, then I will have to be very suspicious of those I allow back into my inner circle. And I am ESPECIALLY critical of people we have in common. and maybe it’s best that we don’t have you in common anymore. I am choosing to remove myself from this situation.

If you don’t feel a friendship with someone anymore, it’s not a crime. It’s simply the experience of life. And right now, this break (which isn’t easy, but had to be done) is being made worse by people who feel like they should be the ones speaking "truth."

well, that’s not your place.

and it never will be.

so just fess it up. tell me that you’re one of them. I’m not gonna get mad and go crazy. But I will know who my friends are and who are just hte people who want to smile in my face.

It really doesn’t matter if you decide not to tell me.

You won’t be a part of my life either way.

for those of you who do not know what is going on, I am deeply sorry. I am slowly weeding things out and trying to decipher who is really thinking of me as a friend and not as someone they want to betray. I know some of you for sure,but I’m taking the reintegration process slow and steady. So give me a few more days to get you all up to speed. I cherish so many of you and I’m so upset that I may have to leave some of you behind who have nothing to do with this. But I’ll never know for sure.

I thought I had weeded you out, but there were still SEVERAL.

several? what?

who is sitting around wanting to do that to someone? Wanting to betray their trust and honesty for whatever grand lofty purpose. If i wanted to say bad things or "smear" a reputation i would have made a public entry and used names and been a real bitch. But i didn’t… FOR A REASON. and someone or some ONES decided they would take into their own hands… and they started THIS.

god this sucks.

you get to know people and you let them in and then they stab and spit at you.

so this is just gonna take a minute.

if you’d like to discuss this more personally, then email me.

ladychaos577@gmail.com

 

otherwise… i don’t know what else to say.

this is breaking my little heart.

but i made the choice to say goodbye to someone and i wanted to just shut the door slowly.

instead i had to slam it and lock it and barricade it.

why? because of one of YOU. or "several" of YOU.

So anyway…

some of you… you’ll be hearing from me.

Others… I’m sorry. I’ll miss you guys.

but betrayal… it ruins everything.

 

see ya on the flip side.