blah blah blah ramble blah blah ramble blah. BLAH!

bleh.

Hello lurkers who hate me. how are ya? Are you bored? Need a trainwreck to read about? Wanna feel better about yourself so you can say "at least I’m not that crazy bitch". Are you jealous? Have no life? all of the above?

I’m sure that most every diary with a public entry has a few lurkers about it, and not everyone likes everything they read… but here’s something for you to stick in your pipe and smoke:

 You can’t make me hide underground or stop writing what i want to write. so just sit there and read and think i’m a "whore" or whatever you  want. it’s so flattering anyway. have more kisses *muah muah muah* Because it really doesn’t bother me the way you want it to. So lurk on and think your thoughts. But if I were you, I’d just go find something else to do.

Crocheting is fun.

Read a book.

Pick your nose…

it’s all good. No hard feelings for not liking me. I probably wouldn’t like you either. =)

And that’s the last bit of attention you’ll get outta me damn it!

anyway, what else.

i’m bored. stupid day. I have, once again, no work. I do have this form I get to re-furbish to be more user friendly… but that’ll take 5 minutes.

and i have 6.5 hours left in this day.

I wish I could just read my book. But I’m not sure how much of that I can get away with just yet. I’m wondering where most of my work is, but I have a feeling that the people who draft the letters I’m usually sending out and such are participating in a sneaky little "work slow down" which in turn makes me very unproductive. I have the tenant directory project I can’t finish because the person who creates the report views is taking his sweet time.

and just bleh.

whatever.

i’ll just do this.

i have to check nanowrimo rules. i would like to start character outlines and stuff now if i can. but if i can’t, i’ll just WAIT.

bah.

rules.

so i texted photoboy, and he DID respond. I just told him to have a good evening. and he said he would. then in a fit of impulse i told him that since he had acquired more of my interest that I might contact him more than i normally have (which is like once every other week if I’m honest. We really didn’t talk that much before we met) and if that was bothersome to let me know. and he texted back "it’s all good"

whatever that means.

bah.

i seriously want to see him again, just to see what i feel like. if it’s still all bells and whistles and electric shocks. Or if it changes to him being annoying and stupid and not so cool.

but i feel like if i initiate contact so soon i’ll be dragging myself almost unwillingly down the same stupid road I always go down. and I don’t want to do that. I need to change my habits, but it’s so hard. Now if he asked me to do something, then I’d probably say yes. but when it starts up with me getting antsy and being aggressive (which is just my nature and I can’t help it sometimes) then i end up in the same place. Like a well learned process that I just do without thinking until I’m jumbled up in a mess at the end of it.

soooo, that leaves me with itchy text message fingers and nothing to do with them. I hope my sims Pets game I’m going to buy this evening takes my entire attention span and devours it (yeah, might not be online after work for a little bit if it’s good. can’t chat and play the game unfortunately!)… but it will make me less likely to go running to go hang out with photo boy. even if he is gorgeous, i don’t want it to be super sexually motivated.

even though my nether regions are THROBBING FOR IT right now.

Like i said, I’m in heat. it changes my hormonal make up and makes me dizzy with desire. god i wanna text him right now. i do. i do. i do.

make me stop.

bah.

i don’t want to do this.

but i do want to do this.

no.

yes.

noooooo.

yeeeeeessssssaaaaaaa

noooooooooaaaaaaaaa

shadddduuuuuuupppppaaaaaaa

bah.

help. help.