Jesus Drives a Chevy

From today’s This is True:

WITH GREAT PASSION: “According to the officers on the scene, she told them she was attempting to reenact a scene from the movie,” said New Britain, Conn, police spokesman Sgt. Darren Pearson. The movie: “The Passion of the Christ”. The unnamed woman, married and in her 40s, purposefully drove her Chevrolet Lumina into a pond at a city park in order to baptize herself, officers said. She was taken to a hospital for a mental evaluation. (New Britain Herald) …Who will ever be able to forget the moving scene when Jesus drives his Chevy into the baptismal pool?

Well that explains it all. I have never liked Chevy’s, so it is only right that I don’t like Jesus!

It has been twenty days since my last entry. I hate even numbers too, but in that time I’ve figured some more stuff out that I did not have time to share. By the end of my previous entry, I was reay to get help. I was going to make an appointment with a psychotherapist, but I chickened out. However, I did make some progress on my own. I figured out (at least for a while) how to stay on task and get things done. I have been accomplishing a lot at work that I normally put off because I do not want to call someone (or some other anxiety.)

Although it seems like a simple Nike “Just Do It” approach in practice, there is a lot of behind the scenes work going on in my head. I basically decided that, in order to get myself to do things that I do not want to do, I have to practice lying to myself. By “lying” I mean convincing myself of things that are probably really true, but I probably do not normally believe to be true. I can not just simply “believe” I can do it. I have to prove to myself that I can do it to support what I see as a lie. Everything I believe to be true is just what I have already managed to convince myself of (true or not,) so this is really no different. I just need to start convincing myself of things that help me function better. So, rather than just ignore my anxiety and “just do it” to get through each situation, I am trying to work on problem areas.

That’s not that easy to do when I am tired. So, I have lost my initial momentum in this endeavor, but I will keep trying.