Vertigo

Sometimes the rocks in my head become a jumbled mess, which in turn causes dizziness as well as a sense of foreboding and helplessness that I am falling and thus unable to catch myself and realign.

This is known as “Vertigo”.

Having this ailment sucks. No medical coverage due to outrageous hikes in premiums and co-pays. No other income except my own – some might think this as debilitating, but it isn’t. Not really. For the moment it is nothing more than a severe inconvenience and hampers certain goals that are still waiting patiently to be reached, attained and achieved.

Vertigo reached out and took a firm hold of me last year in April. I was minding my own business at the time, not giving anything a thought except what I needed to accomplish that day in the office where I work. My boss was out doing whatever bosses do when they aren’t “in” the office.

I hadn’t been feeling good that morning, yet I was determined to come in despite of how I felt. A martyr I am not. Tenacious, remember? But as morning progressed I became increasingly uncomfortable to the point that I just needed to escape, so I asked one of the other girls if they would mind taking me home.

I stood to make my way to the inner office, or waiting area, and never made it. With stumbled steps, and with my own feet getting in my way, I fell against one of the filing cabinets, slid the length of the metal and crashed to the floor.

My head fell forward and I suddenly felt drained of all energy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Those that were in the office at the time panicked. Wonderful … all assumed I was having a stroke. I’m in that age group, not that any given malady respects age or gender, striking at will.

I didn’t cry. That surprised me. I know I was scared to death, thinking what everyone was saying aloud “stroke”. One of our clients, who happened to be here at the time, is a nurse and with expediency and proficiency borne of her profession, checked me, took my blood pressure, asked me questions about what I had eaten for breakfast, and asked me to squeeze her hands as hard as I could after reaching for my own and holding them.

I did the best I could in squeezing, but as mentioned I was so very tired, I didn’t think I had the strength to do any more than a tentative squeeze. My husband arrived, amidst the “drama queen’s” anxious remarks, that I was having a stroke.

No ambulance for me! Those I work with helped me into the vehicle and I was rushed with haste to the hospital. Thank goodness no one broke any speed limits. The one main drag in town has a posted speed limit of 35mph which was honored and obeyed.

However! As soon as we reached the emergency area, tingling started on the left side of my body and my fingers went completely numb. Without further fan-fare I was rushed to a small room, given an examination and promptly hooked up to the EKG.

All I wanted to do was go to sleep. That’s all I wanted. My words were slurred, my vision blurry and my heart was beating normally. Yet still tests were run. My boss came to the hospital on her day off, remaining there while the tests were being done. She called my parents and informed them of what was taking place. Spoke with my husband who was at wits end with frustration and his own sense of helplessness.

She remained calm and collected. She is, after all, an attorney. I love my job!

After being there for a few hours, the doctors couldn’t find any indication that I was having a stroke. Or a heart-attack. Or anything else for that matter. I was sent home, and given instructions to start taking 81mg of baby aspirin a day. I had quit smoking a few months prior, but still the fear of stroke and other complications were prevalent.

I slept the rest of the day – this happened on a Wednesday, and was given the rest of the week off, much to my protestations and chagrin. But as my boss always tells me, “your work isn’t going anywhere and will be there when you come back”. She was right, of course.

So … back to work I came – the vertigo was diagnosed a few weeks later when I had another “attack” – dizziness that bordered on an anxiety or panic attack. Knocked me for a loop. Went to my boss’ doctor and it was there that I was diagnosed. Into therapy I went – can’t remember the term she used for the head maneuvers now, but they work.

I was given exercises to do and I do them religiously every other day. Still it doesn’t seem to be enough. So, in a nut shell, that explains the loopiness. *grins* Though my husband says I can’t blame all of my loopiness on that.

Yeah, well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.