live from the trenches

Or at least the Office of Perpetual Confusion. The break is nearly over, everyone’s returning to campus (and sucking up all the parking) and nobody can figure out what exactly it is that they’re doing. I’m trying to catch up with the graduation audits for spring grads, and we’re so far behind that instead of using their previously attached fall schedule for the audit (the semester that’s long been over and done with), now I’m having to call them all to see if their spring schedules are final or if they’ll be dropping or adding classes. It totally changes how we do the audit, and is much too boring and complicated to go into, but I can’t seem to come up with a way to ask them without having to go into the boring and incomprehensible detail of why I need to know this. I want to say, "Hi there! Is your spring schedule final or will you be making changes during drop add? GIVE ME A YES OR A NO! That’s all I need – a ONE WORD ANSWER!!! "

I mean, it’s not a hard question but since  they don’t really know why I’m asking and I can’t really tell them briefly in a way that makes sense to them, they can’t give me a one word answer. They have to say, "Well I THINK it’s final, but I might add this and I might drop that and I need another humanities but I also have too many hours…" etc etc etc. So that answer is NO, but I don’t get "no", I get the five page explanation of why it might change. Or it might not. They aren’t sure. They could live with what they have but they might want to switch this to that, etc etc etc. And if they make changes to their schedule after I’ve done the audit based on the assumption that they won’t make changes, it changes the results of the audit.

I think really the thing to do is to just assume nobody’s schedule is final until after drop-add is over on the 18th. It’s too confusing this way. When I am Queen that’s what we’ll do. Of course, in the past we were never this late getting them done – when they fill out a request they have to tell us what’s up with their schedule, but we’re so late that we’re on the NEXT semester’s schedule, not the one they were on when they filled out the audit. And by "we" I mean not me, since I wasn’t here last year.

This is thrilling stuff, I know.

On the good side, looks like I will get to be Queen when D retires at the end of May. I had hoped I would be next in line for her job, and after my review today with the dean, I find that I am indeed. They have to post it, but apparently everyone wants me to have it – so that’s good news. It’s a supervisory position – and a better office! And I have till May to suck all the vast knowledge out of D’s brain. And to panic and be anxious and have a nervous breakdown over all the things that could happen.

And sneer at the College of Ed, where I worked overtime constantly and did three separate and simultaneous jobs  and got outstanding reviews and remained on the bottom of the pay and grade barrel for seven years despite all my efforts to improve my lot. I’ve already been bumped up a grade here, and gotten a raise, and I’m sure D’s job will involve another grade bump. So, that’ll be two jumps in less than a year.  HA!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

My other coworker here is proving to be very unreliable, so she isn’t a contender for D’s job. I would have had seniority anyhow since I’ve been on campus longer, but it won’t be an issue. She is this very bright, very quick, very witty, very likable 26 year old, who has more drama than … well, than something that’s very very dramatic. Drama Queen doesn’t even begin to describe her. There is ALWAYS a drama, and it usually involves her missing work. Or being totally distracted when she is here. Her pipes broke, her heat was off, her car broke down, her kid is sick (that’s a perpetual one), she had a wreck, she’s about to be evicted for not paying her rent. Etc etc etc. Last night she went to the emergency room for a kidney infection and didn’t get out till 3 am. She said she called and left a message, but none of us had one from her. I’m starting to wonder if she’s making some of this up, since this sounds a LOT like an emergency room visit from several months ago. And I really hate to start doubting her, but I’ve had previous experience with Continual Disaster Drama Queens whose drama escalates and escalates until the stories start repeating/conflicting and you finally discover a lot of it is big old lies.

And while I appreciate the inventiveness, it’s kind of a pain to be one person short all the time. On the rare days that she does make it in, she’s late. Or has to leave early. And I really like her, so I hate to see her implode. Especially since she’s had a hard past – she’s a single mother, her little girl’s father is in jail and not only is he in jail, he has SEVEN OTHER CHILDREN so she isn’t getting any child support out of him, her brother is an unemployed low-life who lives off her, and now her brother’s ex-girlfriend and mother of HIS child (which their parents are raising, having gotten custody of the poor kid) is living with her, AND him, I guess, and SHE doesn’t work… it just never ends. Basically she makes some reaaaaaaaaaly stupid choices, but hey, I’m old and can see it. Easy for me to say. But I fear she’s on the way out. Which is such a shame, because she’s SO smart and has been taking classes to get her degree and she is really really really about to screw her life up even worse.

Oh, well. I guess I’ve had enough of a break, and enough ranting on about coworkers. How about kitty pictures! All of these are a little old – especially the first one. Well, the other two are a few weeks old. They’re growing so fast that they’re nearly out of the teeny kitten stage. And are still, obviously, the cutest things ever.