two words:

Chocolate. Beer.

With the added expression: I have died and gone to heaven.

It’s a really really good thing this isn’t available around here. I think I’d do nothing but sit around drinking chocolate beer for the rest of my life. And I’d be broke real fast because it’s kind of pricey, for beer. Rogue makes it (I keep spelling that "rouge" which is, of course, not the same thing at all). They also make the Shakespeare beer I’m so fond of. And Dead Guy Ale. But this chocolate beer is like the best thing I’ve ever had in my LIFE. It’s very strong, very dark porter, and it’s also very chocolatey.  

I got this at Whole Foods in Winston-Salem today, when I went down for my uncle’s funeral. I’d never been to a Whole Foods, although our Earth Fare is similar. Smaller, but the same idea. And I think Whole Foods bought out Wellspring, the gourmet/healthy-ish grocery store I liked so much when we lived in Durham.

This is all beside the point, of course. I’m just distracted by this incredible beer. And on a weeknight, too. The funeral was more of a graveside service than a funeral. It didn’t last long, but the church they’d belonged to when they lived in Winston fixed lunch for everyone, so we went there afterwards. And all stood around for quite some time talking. One of my favorite cousins from Up North had driven down from Charlottesvile with her parents, and my brother had driven over from Asheville with our parents – the same parents who were having panic attacks at the thought of my making that treacherous drive all alone – so we at least got to compare notes on how bizarre our parents are getting. I thought it was just my mother who was freaking out about it, but so was Daddy. It was like I was heading out alone in a covered wagon, crossing the wolf-infested desert. It was weird.

Of course, I got there right as the service started, despite leaving so early that I arrived in Winston itself with over an hour to spare. Kind of proving their point. So I probably shouldn’t be so indignant about their worries. But it was because when I called the funeral home to get directions to the cemetery, they left out a major step – I was coming in on 421, so the guy tells me to take I-40 to Silas Creek Parkway. What he neglected to mention was that I needed to take business  40, the old part that goes right across downtown. So of course I took the regular 40, and never saw Silas Creek Parkway, and drove WAY too far. Oddly coming back I did see Silas Creek Parkway, but when I got off on it, it just deadended into another road that had nothing to do with anywhere I needed to go. So I ended up just kind of driving around aimlessly hoping to run across one of the three major roads that were involved in my directions. Which isn’t the best way of trying to find something. And although I’d printed out a map from Mapquest, I neglected to print out more than the immediate area, so the interstate wasn’t on my map and I couldn’t figure out where I was going wrong. But since I had so much time I wasn’t worried about it. Until I realized I was near where they used to live and I was sure that wasn’t right. So I stopped at a pharmacy and the nice pharmacist drew me a map (after saying, "You’re a LONG way from there!!!" which kind of freaked me out since by then I was down to 20 minutes) and I found ti with no more problems. 

But I made it, at the last minute. Everyone seemed to be doing okay. As usual, with funerals, there were all sorts of people there I haven’t seen in YEARS. Like my cousin’s kids, who were … kids last time I saw them. One was just an infant. Now she’s in her 20s. Probably LATE 20s. And the other cousin, my uncle’s daughter,  who was just the epitome of cool when I was a kid. She’s six or seven years older than I am, and is a teenager in my memories of her. She had this fantastic room with posters all over it (mostly the Beatles, as I recall) and beads instead of a door to her closet, and a real toilet with dirt and plastic flowers in it. And she was always really nice to me and the other younger cousins. She’s the one who would take us out back and let us talk to Mr. Troll, who lived in the drainpipe behind their house. Who talked back to me, but not to anyone else apparently. I didn’t have a chance to ask her about that and determine how completely out of touch with reality I actually was as a child. The funny thing is, she hasn’t changed at ALL. She looks EXACTLY like she’s looked as long as I can remember. She’s got a few lines around her eyes, but a VERY few. And acts just like she always did too.

I think my favorite memory of her, though, is when she lived in DC sometime back in the 80s. I was up there visiting one of my other cousins who lived in DC at the time too, and Lisa had come over to Janet’s apartment. She was talking about one of her boyfriends giving her a box of chocolates, and said she’d already eaten the entire thing. Then she pauses, very reflectively, and says, "I guess I shouldn’t say that so proudly." I still laugh every time I think of that.

Well. Anyhow. Everyone ended up leaving at 1:30. The parents and my brother were going back to Asheville, and I don’t know what my other cousin, Elaine, and her parents were going to end up doing. Her father was just DYING to get back home, and actually wanted to drive her all the way back to Maryland tonight. She’d already arranged to rent a car in Charlottesville tomorrow and drive herself back, but he didn’t think that was good enough. Then her mother’s old friend was at the funeral too, and was just insisting that they come stay at her house tonight. And my aunt really wanted to, and said they would, but my uncle didn’t at all, and it was apparently going to be a big brouhaha. I’m dying to find out what happened.

That was another interesting thing, though – seeing Polly, their old friend. That aunt had lived with her in DC during the war. I’d heard stories about Polly all my life, so that was neat, getting to meet her. And she still seems like lots of fun. So I hope they did stay with her. I ended up touring Winston a little more, driving through downtown, stopping by Whole Foods, and then going to the Mall because I figured there would be a Starbucks somewhere around there, and to my delight there was. 

So it was sad but also good to see people I never ever get to see. It was a little odd not to have an actual funeral, though. There was a visitation last night, then just the graveside service today. So it does kind of seem like something was … missing.  

Okay, I really need to stop this and go to bed. It’s taken me HOURS to write this, as I drink chocolate beer and watch the back-to-back Queer Eyes, that are old ones I’ve seen a zillion times already, but who cares about that! Well, I’ll care about it when I can’t drag myself out of bed tomorrow.