Building blocks

I think my diary is asking something of me. I need to start sorting things out over this weekend. I have my meeting this morning, and should do some work around this place; and of course there is laundry; there is always laundry. Dishes and laundry. But I think I am going to start formulating a plan whereby I (eek) write a book. It’s what comes of walking around town with one of one’s favorite authors, and working with another, and chattering with another too. I get ideas. We’ll see.
Anyway, here’s stuff from yesterday and last night.

It is gray
and the day lies long and lanky
stretched out starkly lit before me

So they go forth
living in choices against which
I find my soul’s door closed

Discordant is my spirit
longing as I am for an embrace
distant and private against disapproval

I have climbed down from the rooftops
now I dance in my need to say
it’s all right softly lived

Who you see before you
this woman undulating
in tides of experience

I am whole and enough
needing a place I will make
where love and I will live

~~~~~~~~~~

The long slow road

Once I rented out my body
because the only thing I knew of it
of me
was that I was sensual
and there was a market for it

I rode around in cars
driven by men on disability
telling myself someday
I’ll write a book
with a heart of gold

After the fourth procedure
and my 25th birthday
a voice whispered into my mind
to say any more and I’d end up
dead or something worse

On it went to tell me
so soft and timid
to tell someone that maybe
just maybe
I was worth a better fate

I took my body off the market then
whereupon my long forgotten soul
learned slowly to listen to the voices
of women gone before and yet to come
to learn my own song

~~~~~~~~~~

Please give her ease
comfort and sylvan grace
something not laden with
complications and frustrations

Let the gate swing open
that all the messages stored
bursting to pour forth and return
might make it to their destinations

With every day’s living
it seems there is more
sun find her face and kiss her
with all the joy and warmth in you

Leave the raw cold here
for it is my familiar
but gentle breezes in the sun
should caress her every hour