3/27/04

Happiness and suffering come from your own mind, not from outside. Your own mind is the cause of happiness; your own mind is the cause of suffering. To obtain happiness and pacify suffering, you have to work within your own mind.
-Lama Zopa Rinpoche, “The Door To Satisfaction”

If you write a Favorites Only entry, you need to be your own favorite in order to actually get into the entry, even though you are signed in. This could be a bit of a headache. I will have to muddle through the worth-it-ness of the idea. Yesterday was, inside of me, not a great day. However, I had a marvelous conversation with a five-month-old chap, who had lots of important things to tell me, mostly having to do with something called “Eh” (said barely above a whisper, requiring careful listening). He told me all this stuff between having to stick his fist in his mouth as I do believe some teeth are trying to make their way into that place. I highly recommend the company of the exceedingly young to brighten up a day. You have to be verrrrrry interested in what they say. Our conversation went something like this:

“Eh …”
“Really? I didn’t know that!”
“Eh … eh”
“When did that happen?”
………. “Eh”
“I see … that is very interesting.” (Largish woman clearly indicating through odd facial maneouvers her interest in every eh the lad has to say)
“Eh eh eh eh eh …”
“You have a looooot of things to tell me, don’t you?”
Bobbly head looks at mother, looks out the bus window, stops off at mother on the way back with fist in mouth, bobbles over toward me, looks me in the eye, smiles and says “Eh eh eh eh eh eh”
“Wow!”
Etc.

Okay, now that is far more interesting than the self-pity I sat in through most of yesterday. I will go to my meeting soon; it’s a rainy day here. At today’s meeting I will chair it while celebrating my anniversary before heading on down to where my daughter’s birthday bash will be getting ready to occur. (N sneezed so he and his father, who would have to take him up there, have decided he shouldn’t go to his dance program today; nuff said.) Woohoo. Here’s the bedtime wanderings.

Of lusting for love’s presence

Undulating
waves flow in the rhythm
of my desire for you

I saw a word today
claiming a scholarly role
correctness its assumption

We make of it a lie
as we lie together
no need for roles
it is in the shared
sea spray gentleness
we find our spirits’ home

In our moments of blending
never a hint of anything outside
the small enormous intricate broad
ecstasy of the sparks in union

Today it is a longing
weakened or weary or both
I succumb to sleep’s siren song once more

After all (all!)
in that velvet sweetness
like a movie theatre
my dreams of us together
are always
the feature attraction