A need

There is an area of my life at which I need to look closely. I need solitude of a kind to do this. I will still be here; I am not retreating from OD because a) I expect I shall need to write about this process, and b) my time here, if I don’t get carried away or addictive about it, is not misspent and can often really help me along as I read of others on their journeys. But in other areas I need to pull in my time, my energy, my personal resources. This particular thing is a character trait I have. Notice I did not say character defect. Almost everything can be an asset or a liability, depending on how it affects our lives and those of the people around us. When it affects me or someone I love in a bad way, I need to look at how best to deal with it. Do I accept the consequences of being this way? Do I find the courage to change it? Well, in case anyone doesn’t know it, here’s the handy dandy tool I use (over and over and over again) to start myself along the right road to resolving an issue such as this:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I’m good at accepting; but the other two areas are where I need enormous assistance from a Higher Power. No human can give me what I need; I have to go straight to the source. Who frequently uses humans to tell me what I need to hear. The best place for that to happen is at meetings. I will be co-chairing my Saturday morning “As Bill Sees It” meeting for the next six months. Ain’t it nifty how things work out? A whitter, and I’m off to my day.

Away

To live in a new year
there is much to be gathered
stored in reserve
built
freedoms to be granted
and restored

I proclaim my right to time
let me see toward clarity
reach in truer safety
toward the rose whose velvet petals
I once ripped in unseeing stupidity
twice and yet again by me exposed
to cruel sorrow

Missing something
yes I know it’s true
let go let go
no rights and yet I declare
a certain silence is my only hope
and though the rose may doubt me
my path is for now a solitary one

Nature of mine
tempered by the spectrum of days lived
missing something
but for the sake of my soul
I seek it
let me go to where it hides
deep within the creviced crags
away
just me without apology
in solitude discovered once again

I keep saying – I think you are probably more “evolved” than I. Perhaps I have “de-evolved” – I find it difficult to put myself into an ‘accepting’ mindset anymore. My brain cramps from the strain. Peace,

DragonKat

December 28, 2003

I think I’m a lot like that.. accepting is pretty easy but the courage & knowledge part trip me up a lot.

It’ll get easier with time. Change is a slow process for us humans – we resist, resist, resist, then *pop*… suddenly we GET IT. At least you’re aware of the underlying meanings of things – that’s a HUGE advantage – most people remain unaware all their lives. Li Chang calls them “the normal people”… I love that.

Life is a constant process of acceptance, change, acceptance, change, whether we like it or not. I like that you speak of your characteristic as not being a defect. God only removes those “defects” which get in the way of our usefulness to others. I firmly believe some of my defects are useful, even though they are also sometimes painful. Hugs,

“tempered by the spectrum of days lived” Sometimes your words just jump out at me. ~~~~ That “wisdom” thing always gets me too. *S*

XistDense

You are so wise and self-aware. I am sure I will learn from reading of your process! Have you ever noticed that rose is an anagram for Eros? Lovely whitter.

Ah, solitude is most wonderful and healing. Think you’ll find you have the strength needed. Cool about the meeting service work. Good thoughts in the whittering too. You seem to be getting ready for the new year just fine : ) Buncha Hugs & Smiles

RealSimple

ME, I hope you find the solitude you seek and once in a while find the time to share with us what you discover. Wishing you peace, joy, love and good health for the new year!

noko

I ‘m with Gattaca, still struggling with acceptance, have to do it every darn day! You know I was thinking of you when I wrote this first draft of the Sentinel poem…the very best wishes for a friendly and joyous encounter with yourself and cool about the service commitment.

songbird

I think the last 2 are hardest for most of us. Finally I am learning that about painful things I cannot change at this time of my life. Your words and your whitter touch me. Hugs

tracker

Good luck in your quest, whatever it is. 🙂

Everything Ive been reading recently speaks to me of the necessity for solitude. How can I know myself if Im not attentive to that person? A.M Lindberghs Gifts from the Sea :Can one actually find oneself in someone else? In someone elses love? I believe that true identity is found, as Eckhart once said, by going into ones own ground and knowing oneself (p61)

Whilst we need other people, especially loving friendships, no one can be a substitute for those parts of us that are neglected, confused or lost. We bring who we are to any relationship, and who we are is a rag bag of many experiences. It seems to me that you’re on the right road. Warm Hugs sweet poet 🙂

Nectar

you are growing space is needed huggs you warmly

ryn: hehehehe… I’m working on it, I’m working on it. Aja has slept all day. Recovery is a good thing.

Take the time you need for yourself. *hugs*

Gilraen Tinehtele

i can relate very well. take care of you,

Armiel

December 29, 2003

*hugs*

As Bill Sees It? Meetings? Where? – Note: I have a new diary, just started. Merry Xmas and Happy New Year. J,