Me Explorer

October 25, 2003

Wondering about stuff

Last night I returned to thinking about that “spiritual high rent district” and what that might mean. So I whittered, that being what I do. I have never lived in a high rent district, and don’t expect I ever will. Actually, I have an innate (so it seems) distaste for exclusivity in just about any form. Then again, there is a certain sort of evil that disturbs me. It isn’t an active, violent, visible evil (not that I welcome that); it’s invisible. It is the evil that comes out of the unexamined life. It exists all over. It exists here on The Open Diary; it exists probably all over the world. It isn’t massive, and people would be hard pressed to address it or cure it. Then again, there are many incurable things in the world. My own disease, alcoholism, is incurable; all I can ever have from it is a daily reprieve; I do what I need to do to keep it in remission. Fortunately, one of the things I must do in order to keep it there is examine my life and soul. Not because I am some sort of wonderful person, but precisely because I have a built-in escape artist who would prefer to never have to peer into the negative aspects of life or myself. However, if I don’t, I will die. I don’t want to die today, so I do what I need to do to live. It’s that simple. I am very grateful for that fact! So … yeah, I whittered last night. Here.

Who is welcome here

High rent indeed
if you would join me here
tell me
do you dare see all you can
for the downpayment is your own
deficits and defects
and the keys will not be handed over
until you have faced the ugliness
made your way through the corridor
of your part in what is wrong

To enter my neighborhood
is to acknowledge your own faults
stop hiding in the misty cloaks of
no choice
can you grieve for what is lost
give thanks for any and all joy
arise and cast off the glittering attire
of meaningless seduction
the pastel haze of if you only knew

To live next door to me
you must have known sorrow
and you must choose to embrace joy
no room here for shame or regret
do the work required
admit wrong and act honorably
downtown is for delusions
of grandeur or innocence or choicelessness
over the river lie the homes of
manipulators and bored vipers
but in this place live souls
refined in the fires of trial
cooled in clear streams of acceptance

Join me if and when you can say
you’ve been wrong
when your limitations are what
in good conscience
inform your behavior
for here it is known
that we err and atone
cry and start anew
and life is more precious
for its fragile hard won serenity

So true… (you caught me before my entry was complete – added another picture) *hugs*

Now, that is one of the most amazing whitters I’ve seen you write! Truly! Hugs,

Life IS more precious for its fragile hard won serenity…I may feel entitled to join you just as soon as I stop with the shame and remorse. If that’s OK with you madame. You are a Wise Woman.

The unexamined life…Hmmm..Like that. Thanks for this great whitter, as you call it sweet poet. Your life is not an unexamined one and you give great encouragement to others by being so open. Onward and upward Milady Musketeer. Smiles & Hugs

redmoonrising

October 26, 2003

maybe the price to pay is devastating…

This is Most Excellent, ME!

RealSimple

Hang in there, ME. I feel I can truly understand this.

noko

downtown is for delusions and your writing becomes clearer and clearer each day. Such a joy!

Wow! This was surely worth the wait! Wonderful whitter and prose. You give so much through this. The illness, the ism, may not be curable, but the person can be recovered! The spirit ever heals, the heart grows, the soul lives more and that is who we really are 🙂 Thanks for this. Hugs

Eddy Styx

ahhhh, but you are some kind of wonderful lady… congratulations on all your day’s of recovery for none should be considered trivial, as all are golden.(and) you are precious to all of your readers

I strive to “live beside you”… a lot of times I falter or stumble, but that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Like I said – introspective! LOL! Hugs,

ryn: I’m so glad that Sailing to Ganymede has come back. I left Wire a note that I thought his words were inappropriate, and he’s used that note in his latest entry. I didn’t sleep much last night going over this situation… like I wrote in my note above, sometimes I stumble and fall. Sigh! Hugs,

Torin

I don’t like looking at the darker sides of my soul, but it has to be done if I am to know all of me and to love all of me and to be the best person I can be–a goal I fall far short of. With a sigh…

laerima

hey sweetie – this is wonderful. like Mystic, i hope to be your neighbour *smiles* You are one amazing lady. hugs and love,

Sleeping to Dream

I haven’t noted you in regards to a poem… err whitter… you’ve written in a while. This was great… truly.

Starr418

Rent prices are krazy anyways.. who wants to pay $900 to 1,000 bucks a month for such a small place when you can own a house, and play less a month.. krazy

daisymayhem

serenity is indeed precious! I enjoy these poems…

ah I feel relaxed again that I can read you. I’ll keep my diary on public so you can read it. take care, ::hugs::

oh, that last note was from me Vinni. 🙂

Meginsanity

ryn: I know…I hate that line for some reason. 🙂

this whitter made me think. the first thought – to thine own self be true. also, i thought of all the joy and sorrow i have had in my life – that have made me into the unique person that i am today. the down-to-earth, honest person that i am. i liked your entry too. because of my illness, i have had to do a lot of soul searching as well. and that’s a good thing. *big hugs*

*hugs*

I just want to give you a great big hug, and tell you how sorry I am that you’ve taken such undeserved condemnation by David Mumm. Nectar showed me his note to you and I didn’t think you had written anything that would justify him calling you a hyprocrite. If anyone should have taken heat from him, it should have been me since I took him to task for his comments…. (c)

I don’t understand what is going on over there. But, for one, I’m sick of the so-called Christians there who resort to intolerance, hatred, anger, and condemnation. Seems to me there are a bunch of hypocrites over there. I’m feeling a tad bit angry. Again – big big hugs! (You’re welcome to email me with the events of the week if and when you’re ready: my addy is bbos_260@hotmail.com)

MageB

October 27, 2003

Morning ME……and why did you delete over there? We are quiet and smoked in here this morning. I’m trying to be well behaved and quiet. The high rent district? I have found from experience that life is far more exciting and interesting in the middle of the business district or barrio. Even the ghetto is lively. Right now I’m in the boring….and it is.

Ultimatepoem

October 28, 2003

*smiles wide* I don’t know of anyone who could have said that better! *smug*

Pete's owner

October 30, 2003

My familiarity seems to be with over the river folk and I acknowledge downtown.