Downtime*

My entries have gotten rather sporadic, haven’t they? Well, now that they show is done, maybe I’ll be better at keeping up with everything else.

The show mostly went really well. I’m a little ticked that aside from Alan and Pippa coming to the family night, none of my friends came to see it. And unfortunately they weren’t able to film it (legal issues), so I won’t be able to show my parents. I’m very glad I did it though. It was a lot of fun and I met some really amazing people. It’s a bit of an ego boost, too. I remember the first night I showed up to auditions, I was talking to Jen and Shawna and we were talking about how intimidated we all felt and that we had no business being there. And we all made it! And not with small parts either. According to Aaron, more than 200 people auditioned and to be one of the 30 or so that ended up in the show is really awesome. I may very well audition for "Steel Magnolias" too, just to keep in the theater community. Aaron says I may even be here long enough to do "Arabian Nights," which is the fall show, but we’ll have to double check the dates.

The last weekend of the show was a bit rough for me. I came down with bronchitis of all things. I got through Friday’s show on a variety of drugs and by talking as little as possible in the days leading up to it. On Saturday I started coughing during the opening song and actually couldn’t make it back on stage for the scene in the boutique where Elle is searching for an engagement outfit. I ducked into the office space beyond the backstage area and downed a ton of water while Josh hovered over me asking me if I was okay and if he could get me anything. Cute and thoughtful… he is going to make some man very happy and lots of girls very sad. LOL. But after that, I made it through the rest of the show just fine. And even though my friends didn’t come, the random girl I met in the pharmacy earlier that week did. Pippa wasn’t happy about being in the pharmacy in her stroller and waiting, so I tried playing the soundtrack for her, since she loves the music. Well, this girl heard it and came over and was talking about how much she’d always loved the soundtrack, so I told her that we were doing the show. And she came with her husband and two boys. Lots of fun.

Since then I’ve been recuperating. From both the show and the bronchitis. The bronchitis is still kicking my butt though. My chest and throat are constantly irritated, though most of the cough is gone. Or maybe I’ve just gotten better at ignoring the constant need to cough.

Pippa is officially walking now. Depending on where we are, I’d say she walks about half the time and crawls the other half. She’s not quite steady on her feet, but she gets better every day. We went to the playground today and she had a ball. She likes being able to keep up with the bigger kids now.

We’re also seriously considering sofa options. I’d like to get a pull-out sofa for when family comes to visit, but Alan is fine with something basic… and our wallet would be happier with that too. He downloaded a program to let us rearrange our furniture on the computer, so now it’s a matter of measuring and moving and actually buying it. We’ll probably keep the futon until after my mom’s visit, so she can sleep on that instead of the air mattress. She can be ridiculously whiny about that. Last time she kept complaining that it was cold, even with two layers of mattress padding and flannel sheets. She’s a terrible house guest and I’m not all that thrilled about her visiting. So anyway, tomorrow we’re going back to the furniture store with our handy dandy tape measure and hopefully delivery won’t take too long.

So last night I had a dream about Zach. Well, about a lot of people and things. It was very convoluted. Even Oprah Winfrey was in it and she was raving about a waffle recipe and kept making waffles and insisting we all try them because she was so excited about them. That probably had something to do with the fact that I really needed to make a new batch of waffles to keep in the freezer for Pippa’s breakfast. But a big part of the dream was Zach. And Lisette, now that I’m thinking about it. At one point, he and I were sitting next to each other, feeling awkward and hyper-aware of each little touch. And Lisette was talking very quietly to someone about us, only using code words, and Alan overheard and somehow understood. He got really mad and left and I was left feeling both happy and upset. Because as much as I’d love to have a fling with Zach, I really don’t want to lose Alan. I very much want to spend the rest of my life with him. But a little flirtation can be nice. Unfortunately, sometimes I think Alan knows how I feel about Zach, or at least suspects sometimes. Who knows? I would never act on them, but they’re fun little fantasies.

Not that fantasies are all that much fun lately. I have ZERO sex drive, even in a theoretical sense. I’ve had a couple sex dreams, but normally I would wake up from those all hot and bothered… now I’ve got nothing. I thought it had to do with going back on birth control, but it hasn’t really come back since I went off it again. I’m not sure what the solution is. At the moment, Alan has been very understanding about it, but I don’t think he can be understanding forever… nor should he have to be. I’m due for a check-up soon, so maybe I’ll ask about it then.

Anyway, it’s past my bedtime.

~Liz

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