Stormy Weather

The wind is up and the air is that acid-looking yellow that marks an impending storm. I wouldn’t be very surprised if the power went out and tree branch or two came down.

I love it.

There is a wildness in this kind of weather that tugs at me, tries to lure me out. I want to be out in it, even though my sensible side is well aware that it would be very foolish. Then again, everyone needs a little foolishness now and then.

I can’t quite explain how I’m feeling right now. I’m restless, unsettled, eager, wide awake, sexy, flirtatious, anxious, bright, brittle, reckless… I don’t know! I want to do something I’ve never done, go someplace new.

I want… something indescribable. Like the thrill of a first kiss.

I don’t even know what I want anymore.

I think perhaps I shouldn’t read certain books. William Blake, Henry Miller, Hunter S. Thompson… they seem to send my mind whirling away, following such expansive words, firing my brain until I can’t sit still. I’m not reading anymore, just absorbing, unconscious of the words themselves, conscious only of where they lead.

Pure sensation.

I want strange hands on my skin, meaningless words, hot in my ear. Cold rain running down my neck, wind snarling my hair.

Not just sex. More than sex and yet something completely different. I feel mad, deranged. Overwhelmed and overwhelming.

~Liz