Yggdrasil

I’m in a bit of a funk at the moment. We’re broke, quite a bit earlier than usual, unfortunately. We’re too poor to get a dog, too poor to have kids, too poor to get gas for the damn car. And the catch is of course that if I’m working, I won’t have time for a dog and we’d need to find even more money for daycare. And the prospect out here is unusually bleak when it comes to the job market. It’s worse than anything I’ve ever seen. I got literally zero results when I searched Monster for child care jobs. Zero?! In a city this size. So I’m understandably upset. I’m also concerned about trying to go back into that line of work without the support of medication. It’s stressful and without meds I’m not sure I can handle it. I wish I could just go back to Bright Horizons. Why does the closest one have to be in Denver?

::sigh:: It’s just incredibly frustrating.

I am working with some diligence on a new painting. I did a small version yesterday and finished it up this morning while the background for the bigger one dried. I quite like the way the little one turned out so I’m eager to finish the other. It’s a painting of Yggdrasil, the World Tree or Norse mythology. It held the nine worlds and was associated with Odin, who was sacrificed by being bound to it. I left him out of the painting, along with the dragon that twined about its roots and the four stags that lived there. I did include Huginn and Muninn, Odin’s ravens. I’m really enjoying working with the masking fluid, too, even though it smells terrible.

Maybe if I’m very lucky I can sell the larger version when I finish it. Elfwood is down at the moment so I can’t post it anyway. I could start an account at deviantART and sell prints. I don’t know, though. I do worry that no one would ever want to pay for my art. It’s what keeps me from doing pretty much everything. Fear of rejection and of failure. I suppose that’s what we all fear.

~Liz