Exhaustion

I am so freakin’ tired I could collapse. Not all that surprising given my diet of the last few days. While the first day went well, yesterday and today have been much harder. I’ve been hungrier, for one thing, and rather cranky. That probably has quite a lot to do with how tired I am. I would kill my own mother for a cheeseburger right now. And I’d at least assault someone for a strawberry pop-tart.

The stupid thing is that neither one of those is something I eat on a regular basis. But the limitations of my current diet are pressing. I feel like I would gag if I tried to eat a salad right now. Last night I made salmon with lentils and arugula. The lentils I have leftovers of. The salmon was too delicious to survive the night.

I picked up my exercise a bit this morning. Unfortunately, they still haven’t cleared the driveway and the sun doesn’t really get over on the western entrance with any strength, since it’s blocked on one side by buildings and on the other by a hill. So I did a nice little slide and skinned my knee. Fortunately I didn’t rip my pants, since those are the only ones that are fit to wear in public. All my others are much too short. There was a pretty serious bloody mess when I got home and checked it though. Tomorrow I’ll probably go do my walk on the treadmill in the fitness center, so I won’t need long pants. It’ll just be a chilly 2-minute walk to get up there.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up the detox past this week. At least next week I’ll be able to add dairy back into my diet. That should make my morning fruit salad much more pleasant and satisfying. At the moment it had applesauce-sweetened tahini and coconut flakes. Not wonderful. Yogurt would be a major improvement. And I’ll have cheese… glorious cheese! I miss it so.

Another fairly unpleasant side effect of this diet has been a distinct spaciness. I’ve had to go back and correct at least three typos on every line. I had the worst time in the world spelling applesucae… applesauce in the previous paragraph. I’ve missed steps in recipes. I’ve zoned out on conversations. It’s really frustrating. I’m willing to stick it out until the end of the week, just to see how I feel by then. The flakiness may only be temporary. I hope so, anyway.

I suppose that in light of that, it’s a good thing I didn’t go to the FRG meeting tonight. It’s supposed to be a pretty important one, but I have to say, they kind of screwed themselves on that one. They had it scheduled for Tuesday at 6, then at about 11 yesterday morning, Alan calls and tells me it’s been moved to Wednesday. So Alan was going to pick me up after work and bring me back, but then he finds out that everyone in the unit might be held for some unknown length of time after the meeting. Could be five minutes, could be five hours. So I opted out, which is just as well, I guess. Alan was on his way home to grab a sandwich and had to turn around because traffic was so bad.

Anyway, I hope tomorrow gets a bit easier with the detox.

~Liz