Demons of Stupidity

I had just started an entry when my I heard tires crunching on the stones of the driveway. I looked out the window to find that my father had pulled up for a visit. He does that sometimes when he’s on his way back to Vermont. He came down this weekend to bring a boat from Cove Marina in Norwalk to its summer home at a yacht club in Rye, New York. He’s been sailing with the owner and her late husband for the last eight years and the money he makes for a weekend on the water is more than enough to compensate for the trip down here.  He’s actually been thinking that he could come down here weekends, work on boats and not have to work the rest of the week.  It would certainly suit him, because as he says, he and I are doomed to work for people dumber than we think we are… unless of course we work for ourselves.

It’s certainly true as far as my current job goes. Pam has decreed that with only four children enrolled now (Janeyah is in Ohio for the summer), we don’t need three staff members, so she wants to cut Dina’s hours from 12-5:30 down to 4-5:30. She also expects Alisa to be in her office rather than in the classroom. That would leave me alone with the kids. Now, in terms of the ratios, that’s fine. And if it was four toddlers or four infants, that would fine. It’s the mixture of infant, toddlers, and preschooler that creates the problem. The toddlers like to throw things in the infant’s crib and grab for him, so we’ve been keeping him separated from them. Yes, it means that Alisa is in the classroom, but it also means he’s safe and sound. Bringing him back into the mix also complicates the bathroom situation. It’s bad enough that I have to drag the toddlers down the hall every time Camille has to use the bathroom, but I then have to keep them entertained and in one place while she spends the next 15 minutes in there (and that’s not hyperbole – I’ve timed her). Add an infant and all of a sudden I don’t have a spare hand to keep an errant toddler from scurrying away from me. Pam suggested that Alisa bring Yael into the office with her and that if the state should drop by she can just say she was holding him to answer the door.

Oh… did I mention that aside from being inconvenient, we’re violating state regulations? I mean there are some regs that really should be violated. Washing hands before a diaper change? Seriously? How many diseases are really transferred that way? But one that I think should be inviolate is that two adults are present when there is even one child in the center. It protects the child from any harm that a lone adult might think they’d get away with and it protects the adults from any wild accusations on the part of an angry child or from irate, unreasonable parents or caregivers. Yet I’m alone for half an hour every morning and Dina is alone for an hour or more in the afternoons. I’ve considered calling the state myself.

And poor Dina. What’s the point of coming in for an hour and a half? I don’t know what her hourly rate is, but even if she made the same amount I do (which I doubt given the circumstances), that’s less than $85 a week. Not to mention what gets taken out for taxes. She’s considering handing in her resignation on Tuesday, a situation that I’m sure Alisa is unhappy about. It’s not entirely her fault, but neither is she blameless. She just doesn’t have the guts to stand up to Pam and say "Here’s what we need, this is the way it has to be. You’re not here every day, so please trust me to run your center the way it needs to be run." 

And for all that she’s a lovely person, I think part of the reason parents aren’t following up after she gives them all the paperwork and shows them around is Alisa herself.  She’s about my height, but very far from my build. Even at my thinnest there is a solidity to my body and even though I’m tall, I’m most definitely stocky. Alisa is extremely thin, and Dina says she looks like she’s been losing weight on top of it. She also dresses in a very professional manner. Perhaps I should amend that. She dresses in a soft professional manner. Dress pants, high heels, blouses, dangling earrings, and necklaces. She’s also young. I wouldn’t say she’s 30 yet. So overall, you have the image of someone who looks completely out of place in a daycare setting. She looks like she’d squeal in terror at the sight of a bloody knee or dirty diaper, and she would certainly never risk getting her clothes dirty. Is that really who you want to leave your child with? Of course not. You want the woman in durable pants and a polo shirt that may or may not be covered in paint wearing sneakers and earrings that a child wouldn’t find tempting to grab. She should have the look of one who knows exactly what’s going on when she turns her back on the kids for a second and that nothing gets by her. On top of the other image-related shortcomings, Alisa projects absolutely no confidence. She slouches. Badly. You’d think a dancer would be more aware of her posture, but I’m willing to bet that in real life, she really doesn’t have any confidence in herself. So why should the parents coming in have confidence that this person can handle the crises that will inevitably arise in a center with (room for) 62 children?

I’ve talked with Dina about the fact that I’m looking for something else. She thinks I should try to stick it out, that things will change. She says I could be a leader, that I could make it my place, and that I should talk to Pam about the issues I’m having. But I have no relationship with Pam. She’s never there and for all that they were so eager to hire me, I’ve seen her less than a handful of times. And here’s the thing, as assistant director, shouldn’t Alisa be the one to take charge? Yet I’m the one picking out toddler-size sensory tables and easels. I’m the one lobbying Alisa to get going on the playground design. I’m the one who set up the canopy so the kids wouldn’t swelter outside the last few days. Alisa just isn’t a leader, and I really think Pam hired for that very reason. She doesn’t want someone to run the center. She wants someone to validate her own importance by turning to her whenever there’s a problem instead of handling it on their own. Unfortunately, I’m fix-it-myself kinda girl, and I have very little patience for empty talk.

I snapped at Alisa… I don’t remember exactly when, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m not even frustrated anymore. When I was frustrated and trying to explain myself, I was in tears with her. Now I’m just disgusted. And how can I work with someone I can’t respect?

I’ve been in contact with a man in East Haven about a nanny position and I’m hoping to hear back from him to set up a day to meet with him and his wife and children this week. So I guess we’ll see just how long I outlast Dina.

~Liz