Serving Students

… With steamed seasonal vegetables and garlic mashed potatoes. ^_^

Sorry. I have an old t-shirt from UConn that says "USG Serves Students" and I always thought maybe I should write that on the back.

Moving on.

I’m very tired, I don’t feel well, and I have a headache. All of which probably stems from this more salient fact – I’m depressed. And I’m not sure this is just a nagging, dragging little thing that will pass on its own in a couple days. I went to bed at 8:30 on Sunday night and 9:00 last night. Seriously. And I’m beyond cranky. Way beyond.

On the bright side (if there’s ever a bright side to depression), I can rest (for 10-12 hours a night) assured that it’s a situational depression as opposed to the inexplicable kind. It’s the depression that comes from realizing that I may have made a huge mistake. And I think I may have.

See, I waited so long to start this job because I was under the impression that this would be a different kind of center from the one I was at. And it is. It might actually be worse. ::sigh:: I told Alisa yesterday that I wasn’t feeling well and she told me that if I ever need to call out sick, I need to do it the night before. Yeeeeeeah. Because if I do it that morning, Pam will still have me come in until they can find someone to cover me. Just what does one say in that situation? "Hey, sorry, but I won’t be in tomorrow. I suspect I’ll be throwing up around 4:30 in the morning." Yeah, sure. And it doesn’t help that I’m alone all day. I’m surprisingly dependent on socialization. I may not always want to be around people, but I prefer it to be on my terms. Instead I have 8 hours a day with no adult human contact. Super.

And I’m still dealing with the money issue. Largely because I’m not working 40 hours a week. And that’s fine. But I wish I’d known that going into this. When I met with Pam we’d discussed a shift from 7-4. That’s 9 hours with an hour for lunch. What I’m working now is 9-5:30. Eight and a half hours… with an hour for lunch. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s $30 she’s shorting me every week. That’s $1500 a year. And of course, that supposes that I actually stay for my full shift. Last week I left at 3:30 the last three days. And yesterday I left at 5:00. Again, I appreciate the fact that enrollment is low, but this is ridiculous.

Hopefully enrollment will pick up soon. I have a new little boy starting on Monday, which makes three toddlers and one preschooler. That’s the limit per teacher when the youngest kid is under 3. So one more after him and they’ll have to hire another teacher. Whether I’m alone with 4 toddlers or she takes two preschoolers and leaves me the three, I don’t care as long as Camille is out of my room. And I’d have someone to talk to. That’d be a nice change.

So I’m unhappy, but I’m trying to stick it out. It sucks ass now, but that could easily change as more kids and more teachers come in. ::sigh:: Part mf me thinks maybe I should’ve started looking again the day I met with Pam and she was more than an hour late. That should’ve been a clue, but I pushed it to the back of my mind… maybe because they were clearly so eager to hire me.  And even if I do end up leaving in a few months, at least I’ll be making money while I look for something new.

I don’t know much, but it hasn’t even been two full weeks. That just can’t be a good sign.

~Liz