I Feel Good!
I didnt actually have the house to myself because the kids were here and Nadine had a friend spend the night. But that is just as good as having the house to myself because Dick was not here.
He told me I am just going to Larrys and when he said that it really did not even fit into the conversation. I think that he slid it in so that I would think that he was at Larrys.
I really dont think that he was at Larrys and I dont care if he was or wasnt there. He wasnt here so I was happy. That is so out of character for me! Normally if I had thought that he was lying to me I would have been investigating his story. I would have called Larrys house and listened very carefully to the background noise. If that did not satisfy me I may have driven to town. Then I would have called bright and early in the morning to see if he was still at Larrys or if he had spent the night elsewhere. I didnt even think of that part of it until I pondered what would have I done a year ago?
I am healing! I did not call ~ not last night, not this morning. I did not even have the urge to call because I dont give a rats ass where he was or what he was doing!
This may sound so mean but being the green-eyed monster that I can be it is an accomplishment. I have told him before that I want nothing to do with him yet I would get mad when he did things without me.
I am feeling all giddy and happy with myself. I passed the test! Even when he said that he was going to Larrys I thought that I would be mad after a while.
Why does this excite me so much? Should I really be this excited? I am excited because I am not so emotionally dependent on him anymore. I am not being let down when my expectations are not met. It is a great feeling!
maybe all these feelings mean you are ready to move on with your life. whatever it means i’m glad you are happy today even if it is crappy outside.
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I’m so glad you’re happy 🙂
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Congrats on sticking to what you said, or should I say wrote. It’s not always easy but it seems like you are doing great with your decision.
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