Speaking

If you’d like to read about he Dru Sjodin case this is the link to the articles in the local newspaper

I went to sleep early so now I am up! Maybe I should get into this habit ~ third day this week being up at the break of day!

Dick and I talked last night. Of course I did most of the talking. He was actually sober and he actually did speak a little bit. Mainly going over the same old story! Then the conversation turned to the house and the kids. We did not get around to the accounts and living arrangements. I am positive that he thinks that I have changed my mind. I have not changed my mind.

He did ask me if I thought that he was seeing someone. I pondered that thought and could not come up with a yes or no answer so I told him how I felt. “Right now, I don’t care if you are seeing someone. As long as you keep it clean and not bring anything home to me.” Then he asked “Is that why you don’t sleep with me?” (Not meaning sex, meaning that I sleep on the living room floor.)

We did discuss what he called making love ~ which I do have to hand it to him for that. Had he said “having sex” I might have flipped my lid. I am the one that kept saying “having sex.” He asked if I ever thought about it. “With you, yes.” But I also told him that I need more than just sex because that it what it feels like. I need affection and attention more often then just when he wants to have sex with me. “I’m a girl; I need those kinds of things. You are a boy you need sex.” He still thinks that groping me is affection! He doesn’t get it!

Of course I was the emotional one! Oh I hate that! I don’t know how many times I went to the bathroom to compose myself so that I could speak. Did he once get out of bed (he was in bed I was sitting at the telephone table) to give me a hug or anything? Nope!

We discussed the kids ~ mainly Nadine. I told him that she is a teenager and right now she is going through changes that she does not even understand. Hormones do nasty things to a person and there is nothing anyone can do about it. “You are a boy, you have no clue!” I told him that Alexa is right behind so be prepared for two crabby girls. I am surprised that the broken window incident didn’t come up. Which is a good thing because I was prepared with the broken door incident. Then the conversation turned to the house. I was made aware of the fact that he cleans the kids’ bathroom. Okay ~ whoopee ~ there is a hell of a lot of other things that he does not help with. I have yet to see him on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor. I told him that I do things around here that no one even notices or even knows about. The dust is a never-ending situation because we live in the country and we do not have dust control. We have children ~ our home is never going to be a showcase. That is just the way it is so he has to learn to deal with it.

It was getting late and he had to work this morning. I said what I had to say then I left the bedroom, crawled under my blanket, and went to sleep.