Rant

If you’d like to read about he Dru Sjodin case this is the link to the articles in the local newspaper

I did not plan to write an entry when I got home from work nor did I plan on cleaning up after all the pigs that live in this house! I am so sick and tired of being the damn maid around here.

Tomorrow we have all the members and the parents of our 4-H group coming over to make T-shirts for the basketball tournament. Everyone that lives here is aware of that fact! Do you think that they could take their junk to their room and/or put it where it belongs? No! No one picked up a damn thing! If nothing else they hauled out more crap. Their pool table is pile high with all their crap!

It is good to get company once in a while because it makes me go through the pile of papers and stuff that just keeps stacking up. The pile was getting pretty high! One time I did go through it and I made a second pile for the stuff that Dick needed to decided what he wanted done with the stuff. Most of it landed back in the big pile so I threw out a bunch of stuff. Sure hope he doesn’t need anything from it because he will have to go look in the dump if he does need it. Bye-bye gone! If he can’t take care of his own crap I will take care of it for him. He is so quick to throw out stuff that belongs to someone else but God forbid throw out anything that belongs to him.

One more thing that I am sick and tired of: I am sick and tired of being the only parent to sacrifice my time for these kids. I am the only one that has gone to work late because of a game. I arrange my work schedule around all their activities. Has Dick even attempted to be a part of anything that they are doing? No! Oh well pardon me ~ he did make it to one basketball game. Do you think that he will go to the 4-H Basketball tournament? I can not even answer that because we did go last year. He has known the date of the tournament for a couple of months now. I just wonder if he will arrange to be off that day.

Yep ~ I am pissy! If I wanted to parent alone I would have left him a long time ago! I love him dearly but…But what? I have no answer for that right now.

Our relationship: Don’t even ask. We live in the same house. We might talk, we might not talk. He might acknowledge my presence, he might not. I might acknowledge his presence but I have gotten pretty good at playing the same game that he does.

It irritates the hell out of me when I come home from work and he is in bed and I think that he is sleeping but all of the sudden I hear him “hmmmm” like I asked him a question! I didn’t say a damn word to you so don’t act like I did! I have been around here long enough to know that all he is doing is letting me know that he is awake and that he wants sex. Well he is not getting sex from me so he may as well get it where he can.

When he can treat me like a person and talk to me about anything other than the kids, the bills, and what car maintenance that needs to be done he can keep wanting to have sex with me…wanting being the key word.

I am sick and tired of just working! I never get to go out and have any fun. Every time that I get the idea to do something fun he has plans with his friends. So I am usually the one that ends up staying home with the kids. Nine years, seven and a half months my sentence will be served! It will be then that I get to be the irresponsible one.

I am almost certain that he thinks that I am seeing someone. Last Saturday night/Sunday morning at 1:37 AM the telephone rang and it was a hang up call but the number showed up on the caller ID. So he called the number and the call went right to the voice mail. Then the caller called back. I am not sure what was said but Dick asked me if I know anyone by the name of Grant. No. I have known two people in my life named Grant. My mother was engaged to a guy named Grant when I was five or six. The other Grant that I know of was a police officer “up north” but I can not say that I knew him. I knew of him. So Dick will stew on this phone call until he gets drunk and does not feel like he has to hide it from me and he will bring it up then. We have been together for 15 years and I am not about to start cheating on him now. He seems to have forgotten that I took that road one time and I am not about to ever do that again. I can not handle the stress! Who in the hell in their right mind would want to juggle two men? Sure the hell not me. I have enough in my life to juggle without adding a second man to it.

Okay I have gone on a wild tangent long enough for tonight. Now it is time for me to get some sleep. I will still be sleeping when my company arrives! How bad would that be?

I am not even taking the time to post this tonight. I might not even post it because it is quite personal but it is stuff that I just needed to get out ~ “off my hard drive.” If I could only reformat my hard drive I would not have so much crap floating around in my memory. Maybe if I did not have all this crap floating around in my memory I would not be such a bitter person.

Now you know why I want everyone in bed when I get home from work. I am usually in this foul mood when I get home. Saturday was bad but that is another entry that I will be working on right now.