Guilt Stressed

If you’d like to read about he Dru Sjodin case this is the link to the articles in the local newspaper

Now that I have been good about updating and I have de-stressed some I am off to my pillows and blanket. I should get to sleep so I can get up to wake up the kids so that they can get to school on time. I will show that fucker! I can get up I just don’t because he is up getting ready for work anyway. I don’t understand why he thinks that it is a big deal that he is the one that has to wake them up.

Never mind that I work until 1 AM, get home between 1:30 and 2 AM. Then take some time to unwind. So it is usually 3 AM or later by the time I can sleep.

That is the routine my system is used to ~ I am a creature of habit. I guess I better change my habits! I will show him!

I just might even quit my evening job. I can get a day job that would pay way less than what I make now.

I was at the furniture store Saturday talking to them about fixing my loveseat. Since it has needed to be fixed for a long time and they forgot to come and get it. One of the managers told me “if you ever needed a job I would hire you in a heartbeat.” I should have questioned him further about a job. I need a job that I have insurance available to the kids and me.

Maybe I would learn to be a better mom to my kids if I were home with them in the evenings. Maybe the kids would not be so out of control, as Dick seems to think that they are. I know that they are out of control to a point. They do not do as they are asked to do.

Usually if I want them to do something I am running out the door to get to work as I am telling them to do it. Like Friday night I asked Alexa and Tyler to empty the dishwasher, put away their clean laundry that I had already folded, and clean their rooms. Pretty simple tasks if you ask me. Not one damn thing was done that I asked them to do yet Dick took them to Dinkytown. Alexa got to rent a movie and Tyler got to rent a video game. Plus they got candy. Let’s just reward them for their bad behavior.

Since we see each other all that much, when I leave instructions for the kids I usually call Dick and let him know what I have asked them to do just to touch base. Does he follow through? No he does not follow through. Does he allow them to sass him? Yes, he ignores it.

This makes no sense to me! I am the one that gets the blame for the way that they act yet he takes all the credit for raising them because he is the one that is home with them most of the time.

Maybe it is time for a career change since there are no just daytime hours available for my job.

When I started this entry I felt less stressed. Now that I am ending it I am more stressed.